It’s a very busy day in the Deep South as the OMG! beautiful weather and the opening weekend of college football clash like two high pressure systems and create the perfect storm of God-given delight.

And while I’m sporting the new Nike Pro-Game Day La-Z-Boy Bama uni and fixin’ to head out for some eats and Crimson Tide football at a local culinary establishment, I’ve still managed to to hang out with some fellow wannabe writer types over at Elizabeth Esther’s uber-cool Saturday Evening Blog Post.

Maybe you should, too. After the games are over. Roll Tide.

It’s not exactly amoeba to man, but as you can see, there’s been a little evolution going on around here nonetheless. Behold, Ocular Fusion 3.0!

Thanks to Greg Kendall-Ball (known in Church of Christ blogging circles as the “Blogfather”) for lending me a hand and lifting me up from the primordial goo that was WordPress 2.0. The quantum leap forward to 2.8.4 feels downright bipedal. Now if I can just get my cranium to expand a few more centimeters, I should be good to go.

The new WordPress theme is “Deep Silent,” (very apropos considering how quiet I’ve been the last few months), and the “old timey” eye exam header is from The Ophthalmoscope And How To Use It (1st Ed., 1906) by the eminent ophthalmologist James Thorington, A.M., M.D., Professor of Diseases of the Eye, Philadelphia Polyclinic and College for Graduates in Medicine. With a mouthful like that, you know he had to be good.

I like that old book sitting on my desk because it reminds me of something I’ve always fantasized about yelling while busting open the door to the exam room: “I have an ophthalmoscope, and I know how to use it!” Believe it or not, some of my patients would actually like an entrance like that. Others would probably keel over from a heart attack, so I haven’t tried it yet.

As to what shape the blog will take from here, I have some ideas, but I’m not entirely sure. It’s like Crash Davis told the petrified batter after rookie pitching sensation Ebby  Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh beaned the mascot in Bull Durham:

“I really don’t know where the next one’s going.”

Sometimes a man just needs a little time to go climb his own mental mountaintop and mull things over without the whole world knowing about it. Hence, the “blogbattical.”

But I will return soon, and when I do, there will be some changes. You don’t hold someone’s head in your hands as they pass from this life without being changed.

Changes in cosmetics and content, but plenty of the old familiar, too. Speaking of which, if you’re my friend on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, you know I haven’t been completely silent. Those have been my low-maintenance ways of maintaining community over the past few months without the pressure of producing new content several times a week.

But much has happened, and I will confess to feeling the itch to write again. Sooner or later, I’m going to reach down and scratch it. Not that writing is analogous to jock itch or anything, but you get the picture.

So for the remnant who still might check this space now and again, keep your eyes open for some fresh content and new makeup. In the meantime, look me up on Facebook or Twitter.

And don’t forget to slow down long enough to see the aching beauty of ordinary moments:

“Authors will perceive the immense advantage of giving their own manuscripts directly to the public without the expensive interference of the type-setter, and the often ruinous intervention of the publisher. All that a man of letters need do will be to pay some attention to legibility of manuscript, arrange his pages to suit himself, and stereotype them instantaneously, as arranged. He may intersperse them with his own drawings, or with anything to please his own fancy, … In the new régime the humblest will speak as often and as freely as the most exalted, and will be sure of receiving just that amount of attention which the intrinsic merit of their speeches may deserve.”

–Edgar Allen Poe

Or maybe he was talking about Twitter.

In the past, I always swore that Ocular Fusion would never devolve into one of those TMI “OMG, my big toe aches and I want everybody in the universe to know about it and sympathize with me” kind of blogs.

But that was then, and this is now.

That was before I happily ventured out into the sunny, 65 degree Alabama weather this past Saturday and down to McGucken Park to fling the Frisbee disc with Number One Son and Uncle T. who was visiting from Colorado Springs.

And now my right gluteus maximus is tied-up tighter than King Tut and a tombful of his Egyptian cousins and concubines.

I just thought you needed to know that. Can I get a witness? [...]

Arrrrgh!

Why am I resorting to pirate talk so early in the morning? Because I’ve been tagged about a gazillion times in yet another internet meme, this time on Facebook: 25 Random Things About Me.

Not that I mind that much, it’s just that it has that whole cheesy, chain-letter feel. When I was a kid, my mother would always make a big production about ripping those up and throwing them in the trashcan whenever we received one, so it’s probably just one of those weird Baby Boomer childhood psychological baggage flashback things. Don’t sweat it if you tagged me; I’ll deal with it like I always do.

So, I’ll post these for both Fusioneers and Facebook friends. And these days, there is less and less difference between the two. Let the weirdness begin:

1. I’m a native Virginian, and that’s something that I often throw into a conversation because, you have to admit, it does have a certain historical and intellectual cachet. [...]

But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!

–Amos 5:24

Regular readers know him as JRB. He’s a Harding grad like me and the most prolific commenter on this blog, the one whose fervent man-passion for his beloved ‘Dores and his meticulous command of the King’s English often get him into a scrap or two with my Bama-lovin’ alter ego, Mike the Redneck.

And through the power of the written word, a cell phone speed dial and a few blessed opportunities to break bread together, he has become one of my best friends and confidantes in the world and the “little brother” I never had. There have been a lot of benefits to this blog, but my friendship with JRB stands out as one of the greatest blessings of all.

What you may not know (but are about to find out because this is very important for you to consider on this most auspicious day) is that the Montgomery Advertiser has honored him along with three other young, community leaders as recipients of their 2009 King Spirit Honors, an award which “represents the vision, dedication and selfless spirit that have become King’s legacy.”

JRB’s boss at Faulkner University’s Jones School of Law, Dean Charles Nelson, nominated him for his work as director of both the Jones Elder Law Clinic and the Family Violence Clinic where JRB and his student charges provide pro bono legal aid to those whose needs are great and are often least able to afford it. Dean Nelson had this to say about JRB’s work:

“Professor Baker is making a difference in our community by taking on unpleasant issues that many would rather turn away from. He gives not only voice and attention to victims, but also hope.”

Somewhere, Atticus Finch is very, very pleased.

Now I know JRB well enough to know that he’s not in this for the recognition and that he’s probably a little embarrassed by all the attention. Sorry, dude. When you live your life sacrificially and sacramentally before the Lord, this is the kind of thing that happens now and then, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.

Besides, days like today serve a greater need–to remind all of us to scan around and look for the injustices in our own community circle that need correcting and to consider what we can do to set matters a little straighter.

Rosa to MLK to JRB–justice rollin’ on like a river. Together, shall we do a wave?

If you’re among the (*cough*) “elite corps” (aka “The Fusioneers”) that has registered here, you received an email this morning containing a sneak preview of a new blog that I’m rolling out.

It contains the community columns that I wrote this past year for The Huntsville Times, not to mention a “bonus track” from the early years.

Oh, and a few other tidbits, such as a picture of me (kudos to Number One Son for his mad photography and computer animation skillz) and my real name (like it’s so tough to figure out).

You see! Membership really does have its “privileges.” I’ll eventually make it more public, but for a little while at least, you guys get to breath some very rarefied air.

If you’re a regular who’s registered and you didn’t receive it, there’s probably a problem with the email that you used when you signed up. Just let me know and I’ll send it to you.

If you haven’t registered, either sign up or email me and I’ll send it to you, too. Remember, nobody sees your email address except me. I promise not to sell you out to Googlezon, no matter how deep the next Great Depression gets.

I’ve been wanting to get those columns under “one roof” for a while so that they could be more easily accessed, but I had to wait until the rights had fully reverted back to me. It’ll make it easier to send them to friends and others, such as any editors desperate enough to hire me for additional work, who might be interested in reading them.

It was a real eye-opener sorting through my registrants and trying to figure out who was legit and who wasn’t.

Sorry, Russian spammers KSGHWOUR%$!+)% and BNSDBB*&@#!*+^, but you’re out of luck. But you know how much I appreciate your relentless, 24/7, computer-generated attempts at international goodwill and cooperation.

And a special note to registrants “AuburnFan” and “WAREAGLE93.” I couldn’t decide if you guys were legit or not. You may very well be since I do have a number of pretty decent Barners in my circle. But then again, you’ve never left a comment, so I couldn’t be sure.

Not that I’m blaming you considering what has happened this year. And then there’s that very special Christmas present you received from your AD, UP and “Lord Lowder,” Emperor of the AU BOT–your new Head Coach “Lump O. Coal.”

Uh, were y’all “bad boys” this year or what?

But I’m not one to pile on like Mt. Cody, who by the way, was named First Team AP All American yesterday along with Andre Smith and Antoine Caldwell. Nosiree, if you’re the real deal, and not just mere spammers, let me know and I’ll send the link to you, too.

Oh, and one more thing: “Merry Chizikmas” and “Roll Tide!”

It was about this time last year that I was a little iffy and burned out on blogging and longing to “shift gears.”

That urge led me to toss my hat in the ring for one of the community columnist positions at The Huntsville Times. As enjoyable as that’s been, the gig will be up soon (I only have one column left to write for December) and these days I find myself asking the question–Now what?

Of course, every wannabe writer dreams of the big bestseller, movie deal, etc, but only a tiny minority actually achieve such lofty heights. For me, that would involve immersing myself in learning the mechanics of writing fiction, research, developing ideas, characters, etc., and that seems like a daunting task to take on with my current career and family responsibilities. But, who knows, maybe someday…

What I think I can do reasonably well now is observe, comment and tell a story in short bursts, even if it’s not a fictional one that springs forth from my head. This is what I’ve tried to do in a general way with the blog and column, but if I’m going to try to market myself as a freelancer or columnist for some syndication (the ideas I’m currently toying with) and try to attain a wider readership, I’ll probably have to develop a particular focus or “niche.”

So, dear Fusioneers, of what I’ve written over the past 3 years, what has “floated your boat” and what has “sunk” it? Is there a particular subject that I seem to do better than others? What do you think could be my “niche” if I were to try to write for a larger audience?

I’m not asking for a love-fest here, just some honest feedback. I’d love to hear from both regular commenters and lurkers (if you care to “decloak” for the occasion). Even if you don’t want to register to comment, you could shoot me an email at miketheeyeguy@comcast.net

I’ve got my hand on the shifter, now if you could just give me some direction about where I should go. Thanks, as always, for reading and commenting.

Some of you may have noticed that I pulled a Jason Bourne and disappeared from the grid for a few days and wondered what happened.

Theories have trended toward the exotic: That I was kidnapped by the Chinese who were concerned about my coverage of the upcoming Olympic summer games in Beijing, or that maybe the sicko serial killer Jigsaw from the Saw series snared me in one of his traps after I spoke so ill of him here and here.

That last one raises an interesting question: If Jigsaw did decide to come after me, what kind of trap would he use?

I’m thinking one of those glass helmets with a TV monitor inside showing an endless loop of Tarheel basketball highlights or else a perpetual PowerPoint presentation of “Jesus is my BFF” praise songs.

But I digress. What really happened was that my site, according to my hosting company, underwent an “emergency migration” when the server on which Ocular Fusion is located started to fail. Now as some of you may recall, my hosting company has a very spotty record when it comes to migration. Unlike birds who always seem to know where to go, The Host Group always manages to get themselves–and my data–lost.

This always makes me nervous as I wonder whether or not my data is lost forever. But the very nice technical folks at The Host Group reassured me that this wasn’t the case at all, that the data was flying around out there somewhere and that it would eventually land and nest where it was supposed to.

Well, it did, but the fact that it took so long and that this is the second time this has happened inside a year make me wonder, again, whether I should do some migrating of my own to another hosting company.

So, I’m going to check into that this week, and if any of you have any advice on that I would appreciate it. I know many of you who, along with me, went to The Host Group when Justin Baeder stopped hosting eventually moved over to Blue Host while others of you have ended up at TheoBloggers. If you’re in either of those categories, or know of another good company, please leave a comment and tell me what you think.

If I do that, there may be some more outages this week as I get things moved over, but it would give me a chance to update to a newer version of WordPress and give the old blog a little bit of a makeover since I’ve had the same look for over 2 years now.

So, if you’re driving down the road this week and a big, juicy SPLAT! lands on your windshield, look up: It may be my data.

It that happens, please drop me a line and let me know in which direction it was headed.

It’s on: Die Mannschaft v. La Furia Roja.

But does anyone care? I do. So does the entire Eyefam. Especially Number Two Son who’s in the thick of it over there. And I bet Brady will watch too, despite the fact that his beloved Nati bit the dust hard and early.

But chances are all this soccer futbol talk will cause the eyes of the average NASCAR/American football fan who hangs out here to glaze over a bit.

Too bad.

Covering World Cup ’06 2 years ago has been one of the highlights of my blogging career. Among my favorites during that time were the story of my very-best-day-ever on the pitch in “Allez, le Vieux” (“Go, you old boys!) and blogging the final live with JRB and Hermit Jeremy.

Futbol fans the world over trekked to Ocular Fusion in those header-filled days, and some of them have hung around. My friend Laurie (aka Seattle Soccer Mom) started reading my World Cup posts back then and that was the start of some big things for her. After some very intelligent observations regarding some of my posts, she had this to say on 8/10/06:

“I just stole my last post to start my own blog, having recently gotten back in touch with the “I write, therefore I am” aspect of my personality. Link to me occasionally!”

Little did she know then how things would turn out.

Since that time, Laurie, a can’t-get-enough fan of the L.A. Galaxy and the French National Team (Les Bleus), has gone on to become a big-time soccer blogger, with posts showing up on several internationally-popular soccer blogs (such as here and here). This goal-filled gig, by the way, has involved hopping on jets and traveling to exotic locales to cover her favorite teams.

Not that I’m jealous or anything like that. No siree. Not the magnanimous Mike the Eyeguy. Perish the thought.

She’s pretty modest too and seems surprised by her sudden success.

But I’m not–I knew she was a pretty special writer from the get-go.

Speaking of which, “Allez, le Laurie!”

I would say “Go, you old girl,” but I don’t know how to say that in French.

I know all you Fusioneers think I just live in sleepy little ol’ Huntsville, Alabama. But truth be told, we’re quite the hip and happening place, and we’re very accustomed to hob-knobbing with the elite.

Whether it’s Tom Hanks dropping off his kid at U.S. Space Camp or Kurt and Goldie showing up to watch their son Wyatt play hockey for UAH, a celebrity sighting hardly even draws a gasp of awe these days.

But a Malibu Librarian sighting? Well, now that’s a different story altogether:

I can assure you there’s nothing wrong with your eyes. That really is Harding alum and now Pepperdine’s own James Wiser, librarian extraordinare, standing outside Little Rosie’s Taqueria in Huntsville.

Although I wish could have met James under happier circumstances (his father is recovering from a heart attack at Huntsville Hospital), in keeping with the theme of redeeming even the most difficult of situations, we had lunch together and a great visit.

I also met the mysterious and illustrious “C” and James’ Mom as well. And thankfully, owing to the great staff at Huntsville Hospital and the prayers of so many, James’ Dad is recovering and has been moved from the CCU to his own room.

What’s that you say? Is that the same “Little Rosie’s” that was the locus of the worst E. coli outbreak in Alabama in over 20 years?

Uh, yes it is, but I didn’t tell James that–didn’t want to spoil his fajita chicken tacos, don’t ya know. But the fact of that matter is that even the health inspector eats there on a regular basis, and if that’s not a seal of approval, I don’t know what is.

Sometimes I wonder why I blog, and my visit with James yesterday reminded me of the answer: it’s about the relationships, stupid. And while most of those online friendships will most likely remain “virtual,” it’s nice to talk with a live body now and then too. We must have discussed just about everything under the sun and them some. I felt as if I had known James for years.

Now if I can just track down that JRB. Good grief, he only lives 3 hours away in Montgomery, and James came all the way from Malibu…

I hear there’s some kind of big election or something today, but unless you live in Ohio or Texas, you may not get a piece of the action. And since I know you’re dying to pull the lever for somebody, you might as well do it for David Manes.

David is a fellow blogger, Harding man and overall good guy who runs a very good blog called Political Cartel which I read and have linked to for sometime now. In fact, he’s done such a good job that now he’s a finalist for the 2008 Political Blogging Scholarship from College Scholarships.org.

Yeah, yeah, I know, he’s a Democrat, and some of you have never voted for “one of those” in your life and sworn that you never would. But I’ve checked into David’s background, and I can assure you there is no evidence of any instances of flagrant plagiarism or Antichrist tendencies.

And since many of you are more likely than ever to vote for a Democrat in this fall’s presidential election, you might as well go ahead and get some practice.

Vote for David Manes.

Remember the old expression, “A penny for your thoughts?”

Well, if someone ever says that to you, my best advice is to hold out for more. You see, I’ve discovered somebody who’s willing to pay me 6000 pennies a month for my thoughts! Not Bob Woodward. Not George Will. Not Dave Barry. But me. Little old me.

Now I know how excited The Soggy Bottom Boys must have been when they found out that they could actually get paid for singing into a can.

I’ve been dropping a few hints lately that I might be branching out a bit from blogging this year, and I’m pleased to report that has come to pass. Last fall, I applied to become one of five community columnists that The Huntsville Times hires each year to write a monthly column in the Sunday editorial page. I was told that the decision would be made by the end of November, so when I hadn’t heard anything by mid-December, I assumed that I hadn’t been selected.

But on Christmas Eve while visiting family in Virginia, I received a very unexpected present–a call from the editorial page editor congratulating me on my selection and asking me to send a picture to use for the column. I know, it’s not exactly The New York Times or NPR, but hey, you gotta start somewhere.

My first column appeared in yesterday’s paper. Longtime Fusioneers may notice that this was a retooling of an earlier blog post (most of the first paragraph from this post appears in the print edition of THT but was left off the online version for the sake of space).

Speaking of space, that original post was 1,148 words. Each column that I write must be trimmed to no more than 680 words. That sort of draconian diet makes for some merciless self-editing, but it’s a good discipline to learn and it spills over into many other areas of life. “The more words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?” The Preacher in Ecclesiastes asked. I wish more preachers would listen to him–and writers too.

If you really want to love your neighbor, keep it short and sweet, bub.

I decided to write my first column about something I know well–eyeballs–and use a little self-deprecating humor (everyone loves a good “comeuppance story,” after all). Hopefully, by showing that I can poke fun at myself and laugh a little, I can till the soil and earn some cred should I eventually decide to tackle something more serious or controversial.

In fact, if you read Sunday’s column carefully, you might spy two words that together may serve as seed for a future too-hot-to-handle column which, in these parts, will no doubt earn me a bushel basketful of Bible thumpin’, self-righteous nastygrams. I’ll keep an eye on the paper during the week and let you know if I get any doozies in response to something I write.

But for the most part, I’ll probably try to keeps things lighthearted and upbeat–just like the ol’ blog. My column will be appearing the 2nd Sunday of each month, and I’ll post a link on the Monday after.

Well, so much for my anonymity, as if it ever existed in the first place. Boy, I’ll really have to watch what I say now. Of course, I don’t want to remain too unknown.

Especially when it comes time for them to mail me that big jar with the 6000 pennies.

For those of you who might have stopped by since last Saturday, you probably noticed that the old blog appeared deader than a doorknob. You may have thought: Uh oh, The Eyeguy’s done up and gone off the deep end this time–he’s committed blogicide.

Nah. I would never do that. But my blog has been “migrating.”

Which leads to the following question: When blogs migrate, do they fly in formation?

Well, here’s the short of it. Basically, my hosting company was bought out by an outfit called NaviSite. Now you would think with a cool name like NaviSite that they would actually know what the heck they were doing and have a clue about navigating and migrating and such.

But basically, they decided to physically move a lot of servers, one of which was the home of Ocular Fusion, to their headquarters. So they unhooked them (without telling us what they were going to do, by the way) and put them on the truck and drove them up to Andover, Massachusetts.

So far, so good. But they apparently made one fatal mistake: They hired Curly, Moe and Larry to get the job done. Once The Stooges got the servers off the trucks and into the building, there were so many wires and cables running all over the place, that they just couldn’t remember how to hook everything back up. Needless to say, it all went to you-know-where in a handbasket from there.

Now you’ve got to remember: For me, it’s just a silly little blog. But imagine if you were a business or corporation that depended on your website being up, and that you were actually losing thousands of dollars for every minute your site was down. Yeah, you get the picture. Welcome to insanity, 21st Century-style.

Well, you know what? I may just end up doing a little more migrating. I suspect that there are going to be quite a few blogs leaving the NaviSite nest over the next few days, and I will probably be among them.