When I woke up yesterday morning, I was just regular “Mike the Eyeguy.” But then I went and wrote a post on Nancy Grace and the Church of Christ, grabbed my cuppa morning Joe, and settled into my usual rut and routine, expecting just another typical day.

Soon massive internet search engines kicked in, sorting through the roiling blogosphere for terms such as “Winkler,” “Nancy Grace and the Church of Christ,” “Church of Christ cult,” and “Rube Shelly, psychology.” By the dozens, they treked to my humble “basketball and life blog” which on a good day receives around 50 “hits,” just enough to maintain a modicum of respectability and convince me that I’m not completely wasting my time.

But then I hit the motherlode. My playful jab at Ms. Grace was picked up and linked at “The All Spin Zone–Progressive Politics Writ Large” and at that point my stat counter went through the proverbial roof. [...]

The Church of Christ blogosphere has been abuzz the past week since one of its own ministers, Matthew Winkler, was tragically shotgunned in the back by his wife in Selmer, Tennessee. She has confessed to the crime and a motive, but so far only authorities close to the case know what she said and to date they haven’t shared that information with the rest of the world.

Of course, that doesn’t prevent folks from speculating on the “why” (after all, these things must make sense, right?) and everyone from the greeter at Wal-Mart to such paragons of journalistic excellence and integrity as Nancy Grace has their own theory. Personally, I’ll go with the greeter at Wal-Mart after watching Nancy Grace’s spasmodic prancing and preening on CNN last night. You see, Ms. Grace has uncovered the titillating tidbit that is the lynchpin to this investigation–the Church of Christ is a cult and Mary Winkler is its mind-numbed pawn. [...]

A while back in my post Hey Nike, I’m Your Man!, I made the case that large megacorporations such as the Winged Goddess of Victory should take a look at “Average Joes” (such as yours truly) instead of professional athletes when it comes to endorsements and ad campaigns. What better way to connect with the Common Man or Woman than to feature one of their own, struggling to balance their mundane, workaday duties with the ongoing obligation to fitness and athletic achievement?

Well, Nike still hasn’t called me to endorse the Air Max 360, but apparently somebody’s been reading my blog! USA Today reports this morning on the growing trend among corporations to seek out the input of average consumers in their ad campaigns, even to the point of featuring actual commercials created by Average Joes and Janes. And here’s the kicker: they’re paying people, sometimes as much as $10,000, if their ads are chosen!

So where do I go from here? [...]

When that “Other George” sliced through Michigan State and North Carolina–two members of last year’s Final Four–in the first two rounds of the NCAA Men’s basketball tournament, my first thought was: Oh, isn’t that cute. Every March Madness has its Cinderella knocking at the door of the ball, but usually by the time the regional finals are over, she’s lost her slipper and gone quietly into that good night.

Someone forgot to share that script with the “Other George”–that’s Mason, M-A-S-O-N. [...]

I hate basketball. In fact, I hate basketball so much that I’ve decided to join forces with these guys.

No, not really. But it’s easy to see how I would feel that way after watching my Dookies bite the dust this week. If that weren’t enough bad news, along comes an email in my box reminding me that the Ocular Fusion Gang basketball bracket standings have been updated. In the interest of full public disclosure, here are the current results: [...]

“Let me just say first of all, it was a very physical game…we just never adjusted to their physicality.”–Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski following the Blue Devils loss to LSU

“Certain things are in your control and certain things are out of your control. I’m not a great athlete, and LSU has great athletes.”–J.J. Redick in a postgame interview

Both Coach K and J.J. Redick, stunned following the Blue Devils 62-54 loss to LSU in last night’s Atlanta regional semifinal, are speaking in code. Coach K and J.J. are much too classy to just lay it all out there, but I’m not Coach K or J.J. and I can say whatever I want since nobody cares what I think anyway, so allow me to translate: [...]

If anyone showed up at my church last night thinking that there might be a little “praying and praising” going inside, they received a rude awakening when they were greeted by this sign. Who needs a funny church sign generator when you have the real thing right there in front of you?

OK, by way of explanation, “Praise and Prayer” is the name of our upbeat Wednesday night “Peak of the Week” style devotional designed to recharge our spiritual batteries so that we can run (not walk or crawl) past “Hump Day” and on through the rest of the work week. This week, area schools are on Spring Break and many folks are out of town, ergo, no quorum for “praising and praying.” Still, you have to admit that this is at least as funny as some of these “Bulletin Bloopers.”

I bet some of you have some stories to tell when it comes to inadvertantly funny church signs, bulletin blunders, and sermon slips-of-the-tongue. Let’s stir up a little “holy laughter”–after all, it is “good for the soul.”

“A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
–Proverbs 17:22

Do you find yourself drumming your fingers as your computer ever so sloooowly grinds and cranks along like a freshly-salted slug on a sunny, Sunday afternoon? When you sit down for an online session, do you hear menacing noises rising forth from the bowels of your desktop? When you have friends over and one of them asks to look up something on the internet, does your web browser, which lately has had a mind of its own, take them, totally unprompted, to www.niceandnakedgirls.com? [...]

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” Romans 1:20

For many years, physicists and astonomers have speculated that the universe experienced a cataclysmic birth and expanded very rapidly in the first moments of its existence. New data supporting the long held notions of a “Big Bang” and “Inflation Theory” has recently emerged from NASA’s Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe (WMAP). Using words such as “stunning,” “spectacular” and “amazing,” astrophysicists have been waxing eloquently about these latest findings which demonstrate that the universe grew from the size of a marble to billions of light years across within a trillionth of a second. [...]

As Duke dismantled GW in the second round of the NCAA tournament on Saturday, it really didn’t take a rocket scientist (and believe me, in Huntsville those guys and gals are a dime a dozen) to figure out that the initials stood for that “Famous George” who helped found our nation and chopped down the cherry tree (although his descendents still insist he was framed).

However, that “Other George,” was a little more difficult to place. George Mason is one of those guys who you know did something that you’re supposed to remember, but you just can’t for the life of you recall what it was. Chances are the masses will continue to live in ignorance of the fact that, along with James Madison (you do remember him don’t you?), Mason was responsible for tacking the Bill of Rights (the first ten amendments) onto the U.S. Constitution.

Instead, they will most likely remember that the “Other George” [...]

That question came to mind recently as I read Bill Gnade’s piercing Lenten reflection “A Eucharistic Chore, Trash Bags in Hand.”

Bill’s metaphorical montage serves to put mundane matters such as March Madness in their proper place–far behind getting right with God and cleaning out the spoilage and rot tucked away in the recesses of my soul.

Like Bill, I need to check the mental fridge and do a little spring cleaning. Unlike Bill, I’m afraid I may lack the courage to open the door and look inside.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day and top of the morning to all of ye, whether ye bleed green or not. I’ve always wanted to be more Irish than what I am since things Celtic are viewed by many to be quirky, cool and hip. I have a pretty boring Anglo surname that doesn’t evoke too many images of ethnicity. But on this day I’m thankful for the McGuire and Pasley blood which runs through my veins since that lends me license to lay claim to an Irish heritage and, like a wee leprechaun, to enjoy the day’s mischievous festivities along with the O’Connors, O’Sullivans and O’Rourkes.

O’ darn. I don’t think I have a single green item to wear to work today. Some Irishman I am…

St. Patrick’s Day also doubles as my mother’s birthday. We have a little tradition to mark the occasion–I call her and say, “Happy St. Patrick’s Day….oh, and what other day was it again?” She knows what’s coming, but always laughs anyway like a good mom should. Although it’s too lengthy to go into at the moment, suffice to say that having Mom around for yet another birthday is further evidence that miracles didn’t end with the close of the Apostolic Age. [...]

The clock is ticking and you have until 11:00AM CST to enter the “Ocular Fusion Gang” pool at USA Today’s March Mania. The details on how to enter can be found here. So far, there’s only me, Number One and Number Three sons, and some person named “House of Orange.” I only know two people in my circle who would use such a moniker–Jason the Youth Minister and Jason the GynGuy, my brother-in-law. I’m not sure which one it is, but welcome nevertheless.

I’ve got news for you though. The Vols are overranked at a #2 seed, but I do have them making the Sweet 16 and falling to the team whose name we dare not speak (although I promise I will not be disappointed if the Big Orange prevails against the lads in those prissy, powder blue uniforms). You probably know that already, but you may have them going to the Final Four, and if so, that’s perfectly ok–loyalty is a rare and valued commodity these days. More on that subject a little later… [...]

Bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things. I Timothy 4:8

As you can see from the update at the bottom of my previous post, Lipscomb came up short in their game against UTEP in the first round of the NIT in El Paso last night. Nothing to be ashamed of there, though, as the Bisons still had a great year and their first invitation to a D-I post-season tournament. I’m wondering how many of those visiting teams who had to make long road trips to play in the first round won their games last night? Chances are, few if any.

It seems I was right about David Lipscomb’s attitude toward sports. Wikipedia, that “unimpeachable source” of everything under the sun, says this about Lipscomb:

“Lipscomb was also a pacifist. He did not believe in the use of violence for any reason (He was for this reason totally opposed to American football).”

It’s probably not too much of a stretch to conclude that Lipscomb would have also been opposed to a hard slide into second and a body bruising intentional foul under the basket. [...]

“They said we were going to play in our geographical area. I guess they meant the United States.”–Lipscomb University basketball coach Scott Sanderson

Heh, that’s pretty funny, just the kind of quippy soundbite you might expect from the son of colorful former Crimson Tide basketball coach “Wimp” Sanderson. Don’t be fooled, though. Although there won’t be much purple and gold in the crowd, Coach Sanderson is still happy to be taking his Bisons to their first post-season appearance as a Division I team--even if it does mean traveling over 1300 miles from Nashville to El Paso, Texas to take on the UTEP Miners tonight in the first round of the National Invitational Tournament (NIT). [...]