Bruce Feiler responds at length (and very well) to the “Jesus Tomb” controversy.

His interview/debate with Simcha Jacobovici on the CBS Morning Show with Hannah Storm is especially entertaining.

Here’s a money quote from Feiler:

At least Dan Brown called his book fiction. In fact, I prepared to say Hannah, there is more truth in Dan Brown’s fiction than there is in Simcha’s fact.

Ouch. If you’re Simcha Jacobovici, that’s gotta hurt.

Note to James Cameron: next time, keep it to yourself, wouldya?

Bad boy Billy Ray finally came forward for baptism at a Church of Christ in L.A. (Lower Alabama). Preacher and the whole con-gree-gay-shun rushed down to the river before Billy Ray changed his mind.

Preacher put him under quickly, making sure that all body parts were completely covered by the cleansing flood. He held Billy Ray under a right smahutt time, sews it would take real good and all.

Finally, he lifted Billy Ray out of the water. “Have you found Jesus?” Preacher asked.

Gagging and spitting, Billy Ray tried to reply but couldn’t before Preacher did something highly unorthodox for a Church of Christ evangelist–he put him under again.

“Have you found JEEESUS?” Preacher shouted a second time after lifting the now pale Billy Ray out of the water.

And, once again, Billy Ray could only clear his lungs and catch one short breath before Preacher dunked him for the third time.

Now a little exasperated and peeved, Preacher asked again, “I say, have you found Jesus yet?” This time, Billy Ray managed to choke out his reply.

“Well, no Preacher (cough, gag), I haven’t. But are you sure this is the spot where he went down?”

THE Ohio State University coach Thadd Matta didn’t take very good care of the gum during Sunday’s game with Wisconsin.

However, as you can see, he recovers very nicely, Thadd gummit!

Now don’t go wagging your finger at Thadd Matta. You’ve probably done the same thing (or worse). The only difference is that you didn’t have a couple of million people watching.

Lieutenant Dan: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?

Forrest Gump: I didn’t know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.

So who would you rather hang out with, James Cameron or Forrest Gump?

It doesn’t get bigger than this. We’ve done our homework; we’ve made the case; and now it’s time for the debate to begin.

–Producer James Cameron on the upcoming Discovery Channel documentary, “The Lost Tomb of Jesus.”

Better hold the phone on this whole Easter thing–might as well cancel those sunrise services and sleep in for a change. You see, James Cameron, the man who brought you “The Terminator” and “The Titanic,” is announcing in a New York City press conference today that he believes archaeologists have found the tomb and bones human residue of the so-called resurrected Christ.

This is actually an old story repackaged to ride the crest of the recent wave of revisionist Christian history (think Da Vinci Code) that we’ve seen the last few years. Here are the basic facts from the Time Magazine Blog:

Let’s go back 27 years, when Israeli construction workers were gouging out the foundations for a new building in the industrial park in the Talpiyot, a Jerusalem suburb. of Jerusalem. The earth gave way, revealing a 2,000 year old cave with 10 stone caskets. Archologists were summoned, and the stone caskets carted away for examination. It took 20 years for experts to decipher the names on the ten tombs. They were: Jesua, son of Joseph, Mary, Mary, Mathew, Jofa and Judah, son of Jesua. Israel’s prominent archeologist Professor Amos Kloner didn’t associate the crypt with the New Testament Jesus. His father, after all, was a humble carpenter who couldn’t afford a luxury crypt for his family. And all were common Jewish names.

There was also this little inconvenience that a few miles away, in the old city of Jerusalem, Christians for centuries had been worshipping the empty tomb of Christ at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Christ’s resurrection, after all, is the main foundation of the faith, proof that a boy born to a carpenter’s wife in a manger is the Son of God.

But film-makers Cameron and Jacobovici claim to have amassed evidence through DNA tests, archeological evidence and Biblical studies, that the 10 coffins belong to Jesus and his family.

There are more details about the Talpiot tomb discovery at the Jersualem Post, and of course, the Discovery Channel, which plans to air the documentary “The Lost Tomb of Jesus” on March 4th. And don’t forget to read some of the comments of Amos Kloner, the Israeli archaeologist who made the original discovery in 1980. Here are a couple of money quotes:

The claim that the burial site has been found is not based on any proof, and is only an attempt to sell.

A burial chamber of Jesus’ family would be a discovery that would shake up the world, and that’s what the filmmakers want to do.

What is of special interest to me is the promise of DNA and statistical evidence which will lend support to Cameron’s argument. These days, the appeal to scientific evidence, especially DNA, does the heavy lifting in many a public debate, so it will be enlightening to see the quality of the evidence and to see how well it holds up in the days following the announcement as it is vetted and analyzed by different scientific authorities.

One thing’s for sure: don’t expect any DNA stamped with “Jesus Christ, Son of God.” According to the Discovery Channel site, the DNA analysis merely concluded that the bones human residue from the “Jesus coffin” were was not related to the residue from the so-called “Mary Magdalene coffin” and therefore the two individuals to whom those bones the respective residues belonged were most likely married.

Follow that? Of course, there may be more–we shall see. If the DNA from the “Jesus Coffin” could be linked up with DNA from the Shroud of Turin, then that particular house of cards just might get my attention.

I think there’s an upside to all this, though. I think it’s a good thing that orthodox Christian belief gets challenged now and then, particularly the resurrection, and that Christians get a little practice defending their faith. I’ve said before that sometimes we Christians say the word so often and so fast that we tend to forget how improbable it was and how much faith it requires to believe it. If Christians don’t “feel the burn” of such faith every now and then, I’m not sure we have an appreciation of what resurrection represents and how nonbelievers react when they hear us say it.

Having said that, the upcoming firestorm of debate will, unfortunately, accomplish little, with those who believe in resurrection hunkering down in defensive mode and those who don’t screaming, “Aha! I told you so!” Few minds will be changed one way or another. And when all is said and done, the so-called “scientific evidence” will not be so iron-clad after all, and those who want to go on believing will have the space to do so, and those who don’t will simply have another reason not to.

Here’s a prediction for you: after 2000 years of trial by fire, the Christian ship will not sink, nor will belief in the resurrection be terminated (sorry, but it had to be done).

A word to my fellow Christians: chill. Cooler heads are in order here. Unfortunately, as I waded through the muck and mire of the comments in the wake of the Time Magazine blog post, I discovered, not surprisingly, that the fur is already flying.

Still, a couple of comments stood out:

I think the best thing Christians can do with this whole thing is to blow it off all together. You can not scientifically prove or disprove Jesus, the resurrection, or most of the biblical accounts in general. They call it faith for a reason. Everybody has faith in something. Everyone believes something. While that doesn’t make the outcome of those beliefs equal or beneficial, for Christians to back themselves into corners and act like trapped animals would do very little to live the example of the life and love of Christ. So I have a news flash for all the Christians posting dramatic defenses here: God, if he is God, does not need you to defend him. Living in a way that shows genuine compassion, love, forgiveness and understanding says far more about who you are than random facts and puffy language. No one here who does not believe in Jesus is going to begin believing in Jesus because you argue better. Forget it. Move on. This isn’t the first or last attempt to knock the deity of Christ. Figure out where you can bring a bit of heaven to earth instead of trying to bring a bit of hell to those who don’t agree with you.

–Jeff

The only real thing that can harm Christianity is people who claim to be Christian but live like the devil.

–David

Jeff and David, whoever you are, I think you nailed it, so to speak.

CSI: Jerusalem? Well, we shall see. But I bet it will be just as entertaining.

Big Mama has called her native son and Number One has answered–he’s Bama bound.

Number One had literally been losing sleep over the Big Decision, so torn was he between choosing The University of Alabama and his parents’ alma mater (Hail!) Harding University. I had lunch with him a couple of weeks ago to see how things were going and to let him explain to me his reasoning. At the end of that conversation, I was impressed. Number One understood full well what he would be gaining and losing with either choice, and he was able to list off the pros and cons of each with ease. He felt that he was at an intellectual dead heat, with each appearing equal when all the credits and debits were added together.

I then asked him a couple of questions that will probably echo for some time to come: Where’s your heart, Number One? Which one of these makes your pulse beat a little faster?

I explained to him that sometimes we can only reason things out so far, that there are times when we must listen to our passion and “go with the gut” in order to break the knots that our minds sometimes tie together. As I asked those questions, I knew deep down what his answer would be. I was torn, but it seemed that he needed my blessing to move forward.

Number One was homeschooled through 8th grade, but he chose to go to a large, public high school for the academic challenge and to “test his wings.” He’s carved a good path there and enjoyed the diversity in thought, opinion and lifestyle among his peers. He’s gained friends and earned the respect of many across the high school pecking order–from geeks and Goths to gunners and jocks. He’s done it by not trashing people behind their backs and by cutting people some slack when others didn’t. He’s spent his time living out the Gospel in sometimes difficult circumstances, not simply talking about it and saying all the “right things” or beating people about the head with it.

I think after all that, it was hard for him to envision himself going to a smaller private school and one that was more isolated geographically and somewhat more parochial in practice and thought. I think he envisioned himself enjoying the challenge and diversity of a large state university, studying and playing hard, seeking and hopefully finding balance and a path for his future. And yes, I suppose the image of him being a part of history by cheering in the student section as Nick Saban takes the field for the first time with the Tide probably crossed his mind too!

Also, Bama wanted him badly, and they weren’t afraid to show it. Since he was a National Merit Finalist, they offered Number One a very nice scholarship and never missed an opportunity to write or call these last few months to remind him of all the advantages that they could offer. He received the kind of personalized attention reserved for many athletes, and the constant wooing played a major role in sealing the deal.

When all was said and done, he felt that choosing Bama would minimize the “what ifs?” and regrets that invariably accompany any Big Decision. At the end of the day, he went with his heart.

But still it was very tough saying “no” to Harding and choosing not to meet up once again with the professors and good friends that he made at last summer’s Honors Symposium. He went into that experience with some negative impressions about Christian education, but he returned with a more open mind and a greater appreciation for what was offered there. I think it’s fair to say that he’ll have a great deal of love for Harding for the rest of his life, indeed, even a Harding-shaped hole in his heart.

But I’ve noticed he’s sleeping a little better these days. His shoulders are more relaxed. He smiles more. He laughs with greater ease. He is at peace–and so are we. All of us have experienced that sense of traveling down new and exciting trails, of being borne along by the ineffable paradox and mysterious intersection of God’s sovereignty and our own free will.

Number One, we’re proud of you and the maturity that you’ve shown during this year. Your brothers are proud of you too, and here’s a dirty little secret: when they think you’re not listening, they brag about you to their friends (and they watch your back too). Your Mom and I have been praying for you, and we’ll continue to do so until our knees are bloodied and raw. We know you’re going to find your own way, but we figure that you’ll still need our help every now and then.

You know where to find us. We’ll even leave the light on for you.

And, needless to say:

Roll Tide, Roll.

My blogging friend Bill has been to the doctor.

Diagnosis: Peace.

There is an evil I have seen under the sun…

Fools are put in many high positions,

while the rich occupy the low ones.

–Ecclesiastes 10:5-6

Speaking of hardwood lessons.

I have seen something else under the sun:

The race is not to the swift,

or the battle to the strong.

nor does food come to the wise

or wealth to the brilliant

or favor to the learned;

but time and chance happen to them all.

–Ecclesiastes 9:11

Looks like Vandy learned this one the hardwood way.

Lectionary readings for Ash Wednesday 2007:

Joel 2:1-2, 12-17 or Isaiah 58:1-12

Psalm 51:1-17

2 Corinthians 5:20b-6:10

Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21

As a runner, I’ve become hooked on so-called “wicking” fabrics like Coolmax and Nike’s Dri-Fit. The stuff uses capillary action to draw moisture away from the skin and toward the outside of the garment where it can harmlessly evaporate, leaving one cooler, drier and less chafed. And if you’ve ever gone running in 90 degree weather while wearing 100% cotton, you know what a big, bloody problem chafing can be (I’ll spare you the gory details).

But et tu baseball?

As USA Today reports, Major League Baseball has announced that beginning opening day this year, players will be tossing aside their wool caps for a newer high-tech, moisture-wicking polyester blend lid that, in theory at least, will keep players drier and more comfortable on the field.

Drier and more comfortable? Baseball? Even though baseball players ditched their flannel uniforms some time back, I figured the wool cap would be the last holdout, an itchy nod to players from the past who suffered and sweated through the long, blistering days of summers gone by. Baseball and wool, peanut butter and jelly, Batman and Robin–there are some sacred combinations, I thought, that you just don’t mess with.

After all, baseball players are the poster boys for “old school”–the more sweat and chafing the better. In fact, mix a little sweat in with that tobacco juice, bottle ‘er up, and you can throw out all those fancy-schmancy, metabolite-replacing energy drinks. Who needs Gatorade when players can slosh a little of that tasty concoction around in their mouths while tracking down a long fly ball?

I can just hear some diehard, Jimmy Duganesque baseball purist out there protesting: “There’s no wicking in baseball!” First the NBA ditches leather (yeah, like that was a great idea), now this. What’s next, synthetic catcher’s mitts and massages in the dugout?

Forget the ‘roids. Are there any baseball purists out there who are itching, so to speak, to weigh in on this latest threat to the integrity of the game?

Ty Cobb must be scratching his head and rolling over in his grave.

It’s nice to hear that this one turned into a rescue instead of a recovery.

I dig rescuers. God bless’em, every one.

There is almost a European-like energy here where everyone was not just friendly, but engaged. I suddenly had this revelation that what I had put on page actually existed and it was Huntsville, Alabama.

–Jordan Walker-Pearlman, director of the movie “Constellation”

My first exposure to Huntsville, Alabama was in the James Michener novel Space. Having previously lived in Birmingham and Nashville prior to moving to Huntsville in 1993, I can recall thinking that my adopted hometown was just a touch too tame. I mean after you’ve visited the U.S. Space and Rocket Center and stood at the base of that 363 foot Saturn V rocket which sits beside I-565, what else is there to do?

Well, as it turns out, quite a lot. Huntsville is growing by leaps and bounds and has attracted the attention of high tech industries and government as well as a few Hollywood movie producers. The movie “Constellation” is the latest to have been filmed in Huntsville and opened on February 2nd with a gala premiere at the Hollywood 18 Theater. I have the day off today and plan to grab Eyegal and take her to see that one. Who knows? Maybe we accidentally stumbled into a scene and didn’t even know it.

Of course, this isn’t the first time that Hollywood has turned to Rocket City, U.S.A. for “European-like energy” to help fuel one of its movies. Among others that have been filmed in or around Huntsville are:

• “Like Moles, Like Rats” (2007-in production)
• “Tom and Huck” (1995–starring Jonathon Taylor Thomas)
• “Space Camp” (1986–featuring a very young Joaquin Phoenix)
• “Ravagers” (1979–sci-fi flick starring Richard Harris and Ernest Borgnine)

CNN.com recently featured Huntsville in it’s travel section (h/t JRB), so if CNN says that Huntsville is cool, then it’s got to be true. Of course, I’m telling you too, so there.

So if you’re wandering down Alabama way, come check out that little oasis of culture, high tech and good taste that sits between the Tennessee River and the Tennessee state line. If you’re lucky, you might get a good meal and a movie credit to boot.

A few days ago on this blog, JRB issued his chilling jeremiad vis a vis the haughty Gators:

Very often in the course of human history, as Ecclesiastes teaches, the wicked are elevated while the righteous are made to suffer. We see in scripture that God favors the oppressed while Satan tempts the evil with dominance over others and the promise of great riches and temporal prestige.

We learned in the enlightenment that power corrupts and that absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Behold the University of Florida Gators. Dread the day of your judgment.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to try to stay on JRB’s good side.

Prophecy or hex? You be the judge.