Another Soccer Boo-Boo

840003-01.jpgWhen two soccer players go up to head the ball at the same time, usually somebody wins the ball and somebody loses. Sometimes they both miss the ball and instead hit each other. As long as both players get up and play on, the standard sideline parent joke goes something like this: “Well, somebody just lost a few SAT points,” followed by peals of riotous laughter. It’s an old joke which for some reason never seems to lose it’s punch.

Having been thoroughly traumatized by the last soccer boo-boo in Atlanta, I gladly allowed Eyegal to handle the most recent tournament in Nashville. On her way home, she called to inform me that Number Two son had knocked noggins with an opposing player near the end of his last U16 match. He had appeared a little wobbly and had come out of the match for a few minutes, but reentered a bit later. After the match, he was complaining of a pretty bad headache and had taken a couple of ibuprofen. He was riding home with a teammate and would probably arrive home before her, and would I mind checking on him, she asked.

A short time later, Number Two arrived at the front door. I immediately went into doctor mode and examined his boo-boo. He had taken another ibuprofen on the way home, and his head was feeling better, he reported. A tennis ball-sized hematoma had formed above his left brow. Good, I thought, better to have the blood on the outside rather than the inside. Obviously, Number Two has inherited not only my stunning good looks and large hat size, but the Kevlar plate gene as well.

Then I thought it might be wise to ask him a few questions to see if he was oriented to person, place and time, etc:

Me: What’s your name?

Number Two: Elvis Presley

Me: Where are you?

Number Two: Heartbreak Hotel.

Me: What year is it?

Number Two: 1956.

Me: Who’s the president of the United States?

Number Two: Dwight Eisenhower

Yup, I thought, everything seems pretty much normal. Still, I’m wondering if that new-fangled soccer headgear might not be such a bad idea after all.

  1. Laurie

    I had to take just enough neurology in college for these stories to scare the heck out of me. I figure pretty much everything else can grow back (particularly for those under 20,) but the Central Nervous System is forever.

    Glad he’s feeling okay!

  2. Mike the Eyeguy

    Yeah, he’s probably lost a few brain cells over the years, but fortunately there’s a lot of redundancy in the CNS.

    I figure that he’s only got a couple of years of competitive soccer left, so hopefully he’ll “retire” and play for fun after that. Headers do make me nervous, though, and always have.

  3. Laurie

    Since your son’s okay, I’ll give you this video. (As if it’s not stressful enough being a soccer parent. Someday I’ll figure out HTML and learn to do links.)

    This was the most recent Italy-France game. Cannavaro was knocked out and had to be carried off. Govou remained conscious but doesn’t remember the goal. Both finished out the game.

    Lets hope these gents don’t have to rely on their brains for their livelihoods once they retire!

  4. Hal

    “Stunning good looks…” Yeah, that’s the ticket. I’m glad he’s doing alright.

    Hey, I can’t believe you missed the opportunity to post “Talk like a pirate day” today on your blog. I believe that is just the “edge” you’re looking for. It was promoted by Dave Berry, so you know it’s edgy.

    Here it is:


    as well as:

  5. Mike the Eyeguy

    Ahoy, Hal.

    Well shiver me timbers, I can’t believe I missed that.

    Oh well, I promise I’ll wear an eye patch for the rest of the afternoon, matey.

  6. Brady

    I must have hit my head way too hard. I have no idea who was president in 1956.

  7. Mike the Eyeguy


    I just watched that video–ouch. Callavaro looked like he was out a while.


    Next time wear a helmet when trekking across the Matterhorn.

  8. Nancy

    The headgear looks kinda cool, actually.

  9. Mike the Eyeguy


    Try telling that to teenage boys when no one else on the field is wearing one! Actually, the one in the picture is probably overkill. A more reasonable and just as effective one is the Full 90 (click here) which is basically a very padded headband.

    Eventually, I believe soccer headgear will become the standard, just like American football evolved from no helmets to leather shells, to the ultra-modern helmets of today. Some day we’ll look back and cringe at the days when players went head to head with no protection.

    Say, do dodgeball players wear helmets? 🙂

Comments are closed.