Category: Current Affairs

Search Me!

pat down.jpgI’m really not begging for a pat-down or anything like that. It’s just that folks who Googled a topic like “Huntsville High prank” or “Nancy Grace and Churches of Christ” are being caught up in the “rapture” and transported from my old site to Ocular Fusion 2.0.

If you’re one of those chosen ones, then rest assured that the article that you’re looking for is here. You can always use the “Search” function located at the bottom of the sidebar if need be, or just click the links above.

I’ve noticed that many are coming here looking for pictures of the Northwestern University women’s soccer team’s hazing party.… Read the rest

Googlezon–It Begins

The assimilation has begun. Resistance is futile.

Although it wasn’t supposed to happen until 2008, I have evidence that Google and Amazon have already joined forces to create Googlezon, a platform combining Google’s superb seach engine technology with Amazon’s “social recommendation engine” and “huge commercial infrastructure.” Here’s the story:

On Tuesday, I had one of my “40-something” brain lock moments at the office. I had a patient in the chair with early macular degeneration for whom I planned to prescribe Ocuvite eye vitamins. The only problem was I couldn’t for the life of me remember the dosage.

So I turned to my computer and while explaining the reason for the vitamins to the patient, quickly typed “Ocuvite” into Google and found the website, which of course provided me with the proper dosage–all in a matter of seconds.… Read the rest

Fast Times at Huntsville High

It’s not every day that national news occurs in Huntsville, Alabama. But in the case of this particular story, we denizens of the “Rocket City” would have preferred to keep a lower profile.

Last Thursday, several seniors at Huntsville High School suffered from simultaneous group brain lock and decided that they would salve their senioritis and seal their legacy with the “greatest senior prank of all time.” Their idea? Lure a mentally ill homeless man into the school with promises of food and money and have him take off his pants and streak down the halls in the middle of a class change.… Read the rest

A Cambridge Copycat?

If my last post wasn’t fully convincing, let me offer up another good reason why publishing the Great American Novel might not be all it’s cracked up to be.

Kaavya Viswanathan.

Kaavya is a 19-year-old sophomore at Harvard and author of the latest entry into the skyrocketing literary genre know as “chic-lit.” Her book, entitled “How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life,” focuses on a high school senior named Opal Mehta and her frantic attempts to get accepted into the school of her dreams and destiny–Harvard, naturally. It was properly feted in the New York Times when it debuted earlier this month, and all seemed well for the Harvard coed who was celebrating a six figure, two book deal and a DreamWorks movie contract.… Read the rest

Prepare To Be Assimilated

Before the Matrix, there were the Borg. The Borg were those half-humaniod, half-machine cyborgs on Star Trek: The Next Generation who went marauding around the universe “assimilating” everything and everyone in their path. Dare to buck a Borg, and you would end up “enhanced” with cybernetic implants and connected together with other Borg drones to function as part of a collective mind controlled by the Borg Queen and a central hub, Unimatrix One. But really, it’s ok because it was all in the name of “improving the quality of life for all species.”

Keep this charming little scenario in mind as you watch this (a hat tip to blogger extraordinaire Bill Gnade over at Contratimes for bringing this to light).… Read the rest

Monday Morning Musins’

The weekend has come and gone, and things are, well, different, than they were just a few days ago. For one thing, we are back on daylight savings time and although I awoke at my usual “rise and shine” 5:30AM the clock says it is actually 6:30AM, and therefore I don’t have my usual amount of time to write and post. So, in the interest of time and our short 21st century attention spans, I’ll go about this in bulleted fashion. If you sat through an Hour of PowerPoint at church yesterday, please accept my apologies beforehand.

  • Nancy Grace has given up on her Church of Christ cult hunt (not enough “traction” apparently) and has turned her keen journalistic eye and prosecutorial Death Ray from the Winkler case to the Duke Lacrosse Team
… Read the rest

Dr. Eyeguy, Culture Warrior

When I woke up yesterday morning, I was just regular “Mike the Eyeguy.” But then I went and wrote a post on Nancy Grace and the Church of Christ, grabbed my cuppa morning Joe, and settled into my usual rut and routine, expecting just another typical day.

Soon massive internet search engines kicked in, sorting through the roiling blogosphere for terms such as “Winkler,” “Nancy Grace and the Church of Christ,” “Church of Christ cult,” and “Rube Shelly, psychology.” By the dozens, they treked to my humble “basketball and life blog” which on a good day receives around 50 “hits,” just enough to maintain a modicum of respectability and convince me that I’m not completely wasting my time.… Read the rest

Nancy Dear, I Have One Word For You

The Church of Christ blogosphere has been abuzz the past week since one of its own ministers, Matthew Winkler, was tragically shotgunned in the back by his wife in Selmer, Tennessee. She has confessed to the crime and a motive, but so far only authorities close to the case know what she said and to date they haven’t shared that information with the rest of the world.

Of course, that doesn’t prevent folks from speculating on the “why” (after all, these things must make sense, right?) and everyone from the greeter at Wal-Mart to such paragons of journalistic excellence and integrity as Nancy Grace has their own theory.… Read the rest

Making it Right

Those of us who live in Alabama have cringed recently at the spate of church burnings in our state over the past month. We know full well that such news draws the wrong kind of attention to the Yellowhammer State and stirs up ugly memories from our racially-tinged past. Although authorities felt that the recent incidents were not racially-motivated hate crimes, their investigation focused mostly on rural residents who might have special knowledge of the backroads and backwoods where the church burnings took place. In other words, they were looking for stereotypical, Alabama “rednecks.”

However, yesterday’s arrest of three upper-middle class Birmingham area college students caught everyone–victims, authorities, family members, teachers and classmates–by surprise.… Read the rest

Fantasies on Ice

It was a strange scene, one that forced me to stop and do a double-take. There in my living room sat/slouched three red meat and potatoes, football loving, video game playing, Southern white-bread boys with table manners that would make a medieval baron blush, watching, of all things, Olympic ice dancing.

It didn’t take me long to figure out why. “Wait till you see the Americans in second place, Dad. They’re really good,” they said. I think what they meant to say was, “Wait till you see Tanith Belbin skating with ol’ what’s-his-name. She’s HOT!”

My sons, along with millions of other adolescent boys across the globe, had been smitten with the captivating good looks (and yes, she can skate well too) of Canadian-born, recently naturalized U.S.… Read the rest

Starsky and Hutch, Where Are Ye?

I thought this was supposed to be the Torino Olympic Games? If so, then where the heck are Starsky and Hutch and that hot, heavily-muscled car of theirs? Can you imagine what would happen if you let those two compete in the two-man bobsled event? Well, those prissy Europeans wouldn’t be taking up so much room on the medal stands, I can tell you that much!

If you’re like me and you’re a little confused on whether Torino is a car, a golfer or a Canadian city then help can be found at sportswriter Frank Deford’s NPR commentary and this story from NPR’s Alex Chadwick.… Read the rest

Basketball and Bobsleds

The “J.J. Meter” has been humming as of late. In last night’s 93-70 win over Wake Forest, Duke’s J.J. Redick scored 33 points (his fourth 30 plus game in a row, a Duke record) and went 4 for 7 from beyond the arc to pass former UVa player Curtis Staples’ 413 career treys and become the new NCAA career 3 point marksman. Redick is currently second on the Duke career points list behind his assistant coach Johnny Dawkins and fourth on the ACC list. He now trails all-time leading ACC career scorer Dickie Hemric by 60 points with 5 games remaining in the regular season.… Read the rest

Singing Those Super Bowl Blues

Like many of you, I was a little disappointed with yesterday’s Super Bowl. Not with the outcome, mind you, since I really don’t have an NFL favorite these days and really didn’t care who won. I do enjoy a good athletic contest, however, but unfortunately what was supposed to be pro football’s ultimate gridiron tussle turned into an anemic affair which neither team seemed to really want to win. The real news was Pittsburgh’s three road wins over the top three American Conference teams en route to the “big game.” Everything else seemed like anticlimax.… Read the rest

The Power of Pictures

My recent post on the new Nike Air Max 360 was fresh on the mind of my friend Sonya when she took a recent trip to Rome. If you look closely at the background, or better yet, click on the picture, you’ll see a large billboard hawking Nike’s latest and greatest with the invitation, “Run on Air.” One might expect to see such a scene in Times Square, but et tu, Roma?

The intersection of the ancient with the modern can be found in the most unexpected places. When I saw this, I immediately pictured Pope Benedict XVI wearing a pair of the Air Max 360s beneath his vestments as he was issuing his first encyclical, Deus Caritas Est (“God is Love”).… Read the rest

You Don’t Mess Around with Oprah

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape,
you don’t spit into the wind.
You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger,
and you don’t mess around with…Oprah, da do da do…

Ok, I admit that’s not how the song really goes. But if you happened to catch the Oprah Winfrey show on Thursday (I did not, mind you) and saw “A Million Little Pieces”author James Frey face an angry Oprah and a studio audience consisting of mostly p.o.’ed post-menopausal women, you may have caught yourself singing it this way.… Read the rest