Category: Current Affairs

Faithfully and Flawlessy Executed

The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

–Stephen King

Stephen King intensely hates them. Chief Justice Roberts carelessly flings them about. President Obama ruefully considers their slippery nature.

Not to needlessly worry. The stray adverb has found its proper home, and President Obama has faithfully and flawlessly executed the oath of office.

Word nerds: lustfully gaze upon the breakdown here.

To all of you who were unnecessarily baptized twice: Let it quietly go.

… Read the rest

Ground Zero

I was worried yesterday morning that I would be so busy in the clinic that I wouldn’t be able to catch any of the inauguration. As it turned out, many of my patients failed to show (hmmm…perhaps it was too cold, or maybe they had something on TV they wanted to watch?), so I did see a good bit of it, including the swearing-in ceremony, on the television in the break room. And even in those moments when I was tied to my desk, there was good, ol’ reliable NPR.

During one lull in the action, I poured myself yet another cup o’ Joe and sat down to watch as the Presidential motorcade made its way to The Capital Building while a million onlookers, quivering from the cold and bold expectations, formed a happy guantlet whose only weapons were shouts of jubilation flung with reckless abandon.… Read the rest

Be Careful What You Want Someone Else To Pray For

There’s an old saying, “Be careful what you pray for.” Perhaps we should change that to “Be careful what you want someone else to pray for.”

Allow me to explain.

Last Saturday, the thought began to cross my mind: I wonder if anyone will pray for President-elect Barack Obama at church tomorrow? It began to burr into my consciousness; no, it actually got stuck in my craw. I figured I knew the answer to the question, but then I thought: Wait Mike, you ornery old so-and-so, break some new ground–think positively and charitably for once.

And I tried. I really did.… Read the rest

Rosa to MLK to JRB–Justice Rollin’ On Like A River

But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!

–Amos 5:24

Regular readers know him as JRB. He’s a Harding grad like me and the most prolific commenter on this blog, the one whose fervent man-passion for his beloved ‘Dores and his meticulous command of the King’s English often get him into a scrap or two with my Bama-lovin’ alter ego, Mike the Redneck.

And through the power of the written word, a cell phone speed dial and a few blessed opportunities to break bread together, he has become one of my best friends and confidantes in the world and the “little brother” I never had.… Read the rest

My Kind of Ink

As a licensed eye care professional, and moreover one who is interested in maintaining said license until such time that I retire and/or write my first multimillion dollar bestseller, I cannot say that I wholly endorse this particular Eye-dea.

Still, the thought of www.ocularfusion.net appearing on average every 5 seconds whilst tatted across the superior eyelid folds of an army of Fusioneers does bring a smile to my face.… Read the rest

Soul Food For The Morning After

I was extremely proud of both President-elect Obama and Senator McCain during their respective speeches last night. I thought they were both pitch perfect–humble, gracious, conciliatory, both obviously mad in love with this country. Hardly the rantings of a terrorist Antichrist or a senile, warmongering monster, two caricatures which, despite millions of dollars in negative ads over the course of the past few months, just don’t quite stick.

Speaking of pitch perfect, my good friend Doug Mendenhall, Huntsville Times columnist and journalism professor at Abilene Christian University, offers up a nice portion of soul food for the morning after.

Whether you’re a conservative, liberal or something in between, bon appetit and God bless.… Read the rest

Speed Voting

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Wow, I’ve heard of term limits before, but never time limits.

Has anybody else seen anything like this?

I doubt it was enforced, but I had my sample ballot filled out and it still took me probably close to 3 minutes. It made me wonder if older folks who might be a little slow with their eye-brain-hand coordination and wearing who knows what strength of OTC reading glasses might not have a little trouble beating 4 minutes.

When the volunteer checked me in she said that she couldn’t find my name and asked me if I’d moved. She always comes to the first Michael “X” on the list and stops.… Read the rest

The Eyeguy Is Going Rogue!

But then again, you probably already knew that.

If for some reason you actually give a flip on how I arrived at my current political position, you can gain some insight here, here and here.

And then there’s the whole torture thing.

I’m sorry, Republicans, but you really lost me on that one. The party who was in control and authorized that as official US policy needs to take a time out and go sit in some far corner of the political wilderness and think things over very carefully. Get your crap together, bring back somebody credible like Bobby Jindal and run him as your candidate, and you might get my vote back for what it’s worth.… Read the rest

Parker v. Parker: “A Good Man Is Hard To Find”

The race for the Alabama 5th Congressional District seat being vacated by Rep. Bud Cramer has been one of the nastiest that I’ve witnessed in a long time. The two candidates, Republican Wayne Parker and Democrat Parker Griffith, have spent considerably more time and money slinging mud and impugning the other’s character than they have actually talking about themselves, their qualifications and exactly how they plan to help their constituents once they’re in office (Update: please see my correction to this paragraph in the comments section).

Just how bad has it been? So bad that even the editorial board at the Huntsville Times is fed up and has refused to endorse either candidate.… Read the rest

It’s About the Pipes, Stupid

joe-the-plumber.jpg

“A full 67 percent of Americans say they’ve seen enough and they don’t want any more presidential debates. The other 33 percent are plumbers who want to hear their name on television.” – Conan O’Brien

McCain front man and pseudo-plumber “Joe” Samuel Wurzelbacher of Holland, Ohio, a.k.a. “Joe the Plumber,” continues to stretch his 15 minutes of fame to the breaking point and beyond.

Apparently, he’s gone all Nashville on us and plans to parlay his recent notoriety and mad music skillz (honed while singing the latest Aaron Tippin tune in the shower) into a recording contract. What a country!

The only question remaining is this: Who will play Joe the Plumber in the made-for-TV movie?… Read the rest

I’m a Socialist, He’s a Socialist, She’s a Socialist, We’re A Socialist, Wouldn’t You Like To Be A Socialist Too?

I’ve had to chuckle a bit at all the talk of socialism over the past few days.

I thought: Hey, aren’t we already a bit socialist anyway?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t our federal government just basically take over our financial system, and under a Republican president no less?

Don’t we already garnish a portion of the wages of working stiffs like you and me and funnel it toward a fund from which we provide health care (Medicare) and financial support (Social Security) for the elderly?

Aren’t I personally part of a system that takes your money–yes, YOUR MONEY–and pools it to provide a vast fund for the health care of our nation’s veterans, you know, the ones who as President Lincoln said, “hath borne the battle” and therefore we have a moral obligation to support?… Read the rest