{"id":1104,"date":"2008-08-06T09:14:41","date_gmt":"2008-08-06T14:14:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=1104"},"modified":"2022-01-02T07:37:17","modified_gmt":"2022-01-02T12:37:17","slug":"beepdear-dr-p-i-wont-be-coming-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=1104","title":{"rendered":"*Beep*…Dear Dr. P., I Won’t Be Coming Today"},"content":{"rendered":"

I suddenly realized a few minutes ago that I have an appointment to get my teeth cleaned at noon today. Long time readers may recall how I feel about that.<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m really (ahem) “way too busy” to make that one this time, so I called and left the following message:<\/p>\n

\n

Hey, Cindy (the receptionist), it’s Mike the Eyeguy. Look, you know how much I value good dental hygiene, probably as much as the next guy, but I was looking at my teeth last night, and really, the coffee stains aren’t that bad (sort of a light beige rather than the usual dark brown) and they’re only a few pieces of the previous six months’ meals stuck in the crevices, so really, I’m in pretty good shape.<\/p>\n

There are folks out there in much worse condition than me (believe me, I know–some of them are my patients) and I would like to offer up my noon teeth-cleaning appointment to one of those poor souls as a humanitarian gesture in honor of the spirit of international cooperation and goodwill engendered by the upcoming Olympic Games in Beijing.<\/p>\n

Please reschedule me for a Tuesday sometime in early December, preferably 2010.<\/p>\n

And please tell Dr. P. that it’s nothing personal, but I just don’t feel like being waterboarded or otherwise tortured today. Thank you.<\/p>\n

Have a nice day and go Duke (her son is a recent grad)!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I suddenly realized a few minutes ago that I have an appointment to get my teeth cleaned at noon today. Long time readers may recall how I feel about that. I’m really (ahem) “way too busy”…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[98,30,70,44,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2008-beijing-olympics","category-duke-basketball","category-health-care","category-humor","category-huntsville"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1104"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9356,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1104\/revisions\/9356"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}