Daylight \u201csaving\u201d time. Seriously?<\/p>\n
Pretty cheeky, if you ask me, when \u201cThe Powers That Be and Always Know Best\u201d break into your house in the middle of the night and hack away at what precious few hours of quality sleep you do manage to get and can\u2019t afford to lose.<\/p>\n
Daylight saving time (DST) should be renamed \u201cDaylight Shaving Time\u201d (DSH*T!).<\/p>\n
One look at me on a dance floor proves beyond any reasonable doubt my lack of natural tempo, so to take my random \u201cyour guess is a good as mine\u201d circadian rhythm and flatten it even more is not just dropping a DSH*T-dipped disco ball at 2:00 a.m. but spiking it and dancing a little time zone victory dance on top of my hazy and disoriented head to boot.<\/p>\n
Neither the Greek god Cronos nor Father Time, waving around that terrorizing TikTok scythe of his, have claimed responsibility. In fact, during a hastily called, \u201clast minute\u201d news conference, they maintained a somewhat implausible deniability and vehemently opposed any accusations of \u201ctinkering with or wrinkling of time.”<\/p>\n
They went on to say they were \u201chorrified by this hugely horological hubris,\u201d and, like everyone else, blamed \u201cthe Millennials\u201d for all the DSH*T!<\/p>\n
I know there are probably a few logical arguments in favor of DSH*T!, but I can\u2019t even begin to formulate any at this moment due to the lingering zero-visibility brain fog.<\/p>\n
However, if you\u2019re a watch collector nerd like me, people are counting on you to count the minutes. Who else is going to rise up and \u201cspring forward\u201d first thing in the morning (okay, maybe second) and take on the challenge of resetting the digital time displays on the coffeemaker, microwave, and stove, not to mention all my watches?<\/p>\n
A highly decorated member of The Honorable Order of Horological Household Timekeepers like me, that\u2019s who.<\/p>\n
How many watches, you ask? I would like to think \u201cjust the right amount with maybe a little room for a few more.\u201d And, yes, it is totally normal and rational to switch out watches several times a day depending on what mood you\u2019re in.<\/p>\n
Needless to say, setting the so-called \u201ccorrect time\u201d took some. But when I was done, for a few fleeting moments before entropy started setting in, I basked in the warm, but no-longer-radioactive, lume of rare and perfect synchrony.<\/p>\n
I had set every watch and clock I could get my hour, minute, and seconds hands on to not one, but two time zones\u2014DSH*T! and OCD.<\/p>\n
Our replica Swiss Railroad wall clock in the kitchen, you know, the one that supposedly \u201calways runs on time,\u201d was the most resistant to DSH*T!. It\u2019s connected to WIFI and was supposed to recognize DSH*T! when it saw it and upshift automatically.<\/p>\n
But it had been \u201ctrained\u201d well, so to speak, and steadfastly resisted resetting. It took several rounds of more extreme \u201cenhanced calibration\u201d before it finally broke and submitted to DSH*T!.<\/p>\n
I know what you\u2019re thinking: Why all the fuss about DSH*T! when I\u2019m going to get the hour back in the fall anyway?<\/p>\n
Well, it will take my vintage body clock 6 months to reset. When it does, I will be waking up an hour earlier than I want to, which will drive me cuckoo.<\/p>\n
And so will the dogs. Dogs don\u2019t tell time, but they listen to their stomachs and make great alarm clocks.<\/p>\n
They\u2019re always ready to eat, anytime day or night, 24\/7\/365.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Daylight \u201csaving\u201d time. Seriously? Pretty cheeky, if you ask me, when \u201cThe Powers That Be and Always Know Best\u201d break into your house in the middle of the night and hack away at what precious few…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11637","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","comments-off"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11637","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11637"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11637\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11913,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11637\/revisions\/11913"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11637"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11637"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11637"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}