{"id":1271,"date":"2008-12-12T06:26:06","date_gmt":"2008-12-12T12:26:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=1271"},"modified":"2022-01-02T07:36:03","modified_gmt":"2022-01-02T12:36:03","slug":"a-very-special-kitchen-sink-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=1271","title":{"rendered":"A Very Special &#8220;Kitchen Sink Christmas&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I broke through the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=1258\">Marvin-induced writer&#8217;s block<\/a> last week and managed to turn in my last <em>Huntsville Times<\/em> community column before the deadline.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn&#8217;t easy, though. But I just sat down and forced myself to brainstorm through the dusty annals of Christmases past for that just-perfect Yuletide memory to share in what I envision as a sort of <em>coup de grace<\/em> of a grand finale.<\/p>\n<p>Come Sunday, check back here and watch me wrap up paganism, death, evolution, guns, whoopee-makin&#8217;, spittin&#8217;, a balding, 40-year-old man armed with a pitch pipe and an attitude, a Bible-bangin&#8217;, red-faced Church Lady (think Dana Carvey in <em>SNL<\/em>), the, ahem, &#8220;fruit of the vine&#8221; and a &#8220;par-tri-udge, in-uh, pear-treeee&#8221; into a neat package and top it off with a big red bow.<\/p>\n<p>Just think of it as a very special &#8220;Kitchen Sink Christmas,&#8221; from me to you.<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, I&#8217;m kind of going for broke on the last one. What are they going to do, fire me?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I broke through the Marvin-induced writer&#8217;s block last week and managed to turn in my last Huntsville Times community column before the deadline. It wasn&#8217;t easy, though. But I just sat down and forced myself to&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[46,92,54],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holidays","category-huntsville-times-community-columns","category-nostalgia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1271"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1271\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9239,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1271\/revisions\/9239"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}