Yesterday I went to Sam’s, as if on cue, because rumor had it that they had red tulips in a large, festive red pot for ONLY $21.99.<\/p>\n
Once inside, I was surrounded by a throng of panic-stricken males, their eyes ablaze in full pre-Valentine’s Day buying frenzy. Keeping my cool, I decided to take my typical detour through electronics to see “Wassup?” before heading over to the tulip department (I am a guy, right?).<\/p>\n
Right there, between the Bose speakers and the iPods, was a full display of various women’s perfumes and cosmetic bags. Over by the 60″ plasmas, a large sign read: Guys, this Valentine’s Day, give her what she really NEEDS.<\/p>\n
I managed to escape, bearing only my $21.99 pot of tulips. My beloved was thrilled.<\/p>\n
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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