Recently a Church of Christ friend of mine wrote to me and said that he was considering attending an Episcopal Church Christmas Eve service and that he was a little intimidated by the prospect of having to walk forward and take communion. Could I help out?<\/p>\n
Oh yes. Yes I can. Glad you asked.<\/p>\n
First off, let me say this: Dude’s got guts. Most Church of Christers I know have never even set foot inside another church except for weddings and funerals. Some may have been taught that “they’re it” and if there’s nobody else out there, why bother? Or even if they don’t believe that, they still feel as if they might be betraying their parents or now deceased relatives by even associating with other “religious people”<\/span> Christians in an actual spiritual context, as opposed to something more secular and therefore safer like, say, a NASCAR race at Talledega or a football game in Tuscaloosa.<\/p>\n Were you to attend an actual, you know, church service, <\/em>your Great-Grandma Bessie–who, as your mother has made very plain to you over the years, was baptized by Alexander Campbell’s great-great nephew–might roll over in her grave, rise up, and return to haunt and taunt you in your dreams. Or something like that. She might even ask for the china cabinet back.<\/p>\n Secondly, there’s this whole “issue” among Church of Christers on whether one can take communion on any other day other than Sunday (answer for most Church of Christers: Heck no!). I won’t even go into the hermeneutic (method of interpretation) that led to that conclusion because it’s more complicated than the BCS Bowl formula. Suffice it to say, it’s a bit flawed.<\/p>\n I once heard a preacher, who was upset after he had apparently recently attended a wedding in which the couple received communion, say that “the Lord’s Supper” (that’s the Church of Christ term for Eucharist or communion) at weddings was “the main thing wrong with marriages today.” I remember thinking at the time that that was about the most stupid thing that I had ever heard from a professional pulpiteer. It is now years later and I still stand by that. And that’s saying something because I’ve heard some real doozies in my time.<\/p>\n I beg to differ. I think “the main thing wrong with marriages today” is men spouting off at the mouth about things of which they know little, if anything at all.<\/p>\n I commend my friend’s courage. He came to the right person. Someone who has always had a hard-wired hankering for “smells and bells” and who has dared to seek high adventure at an Episcopal Church many times before (past episodes, here<\/a>, here<\/a>, here<\/a> and here<\/a>).<\/p>\n So, without further adieu, I present to you this year’s Ocular Fusion<\/em> Christmas Special: A Church of Christer’s Guide to Communion At An Episcopal Church:<\/p>\n 1. First off, pay attention. You can usually figure out what to do by watching the people around you. I know you’re used to sitting there like a knot on a log and fantasizing about that barrel of peanuts in the foyer at Logan’s Roadhouse. Don’t lose your focus. They’re going to ask you to actually engage<\/em> in the service by doing a little moving around (liturgy = “the work of the people”): standing up, sitting down, kneeling, walking, those sorts of things. It’s not exactly aerobics at the Y, but you’ll still burn some of those extra holiday calories. It’ll be good for you.<\/p>\n 2. The acolytes (altar boys and girls) will walk backward toward your pew. When they line up with yours, it’s time to go forward. Yes, I know “going forward” in the Church of Christ is usually associated with publicly confessing some especially egregious sin, as opposed to a smaller one like gluttony, and then being singled out for special attention, prayers and often post-service gossip. But remember: you’re not in a Church of Christ anymore, Toto. Besides, most likely, you’ve already confessed your sin publicly along with everybody else during some prayers which have been previously read aloud. Same effect, only without all the stares and rubbernecking.<\/p>\n 3. That brings up an important ancillary point: Nobody is looking at you. All baptized Christians, even overly-rationalistic ones with Anabaptist roots, are welcome around The Table at the Episcopal Church. Episcopalians would rather steal a candy cane from a small child than embarrass a visitor (although they’re loathe to do either). Even if you mess up, nobody will care. Basically, you’re not that important. Come to think of it, this could apply to most situations in life. Say it with me: “I’m not that important, and nobody cares.”<\/p>\n 4. You will usually find yourself in one of two lines at the front, often standing between two sections of the choir. There is usually special music being sung, especially on Christmas Eve, and you’ll be in the middle of it. Don’t worry, you’re not having an allergic reaction to the musical instruments such as the organ or violin which might be accompanying the chorus. Those aren’t hives, they’re only goose pimples. They mean you’re experiencing something very special, exciting and scary all at once. Like that time your Dad tossed you in the deep end of the pool for the first time, but to your surprise, you were treading water and still had your head above the surface. Go with that feeling, and just keep scissor kicking.<\/p>\n 5.\u00a0 When there’s an opening at the altar on the side where you’re standing, go to that spot and kneel. Extend your cupped hands and wait. Yes, you’ll feel like a beggar at a feast, waiting on the crumbs from the Master’s Table. That’s the whole point. Remember: That’s what you are.<\/p>\n 6.\u00a0 I know you’re used to “grabbing and passing,” but this is going to be a little different. This is where it get’s a little tricky since there are going to be options. Remember Rule #1: Pay Attention! A priest or lay server will come along and say, “The Body of Christ,” and then place the communion wafer in your hand. If you choose, you can exercise the first option and go ahead and eat the wafer now and then wait for the wine<\/em>. You read that right. Bona fide, fermented WINE!, not Welch’s,\u00a0 just like Jesus drank and served on “That Night.”<\/p>\n 7. If you exercised the first option, you are then ready for the wine. The server will have a chalice that has “the good stuff.” Remember, this is not the Drive Thru window at Sonic. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT GRAB THE CHALICE FROM THE SERVER!! Instead, place your hand on the base of the cup and start guiding it toward your mouth. When the lip of the chalice reaches your lips, the server will gently tip the chalice so that you receive a small sip. Some of you will, no doubt, think Hey that wasn’t so bad, why all the fuss? I’d like some more, please! <\/em>but now’s not the time for that. That comes later. Just get together with some friendly hospitality host Episcopalians after the service (they’re usually wearing specially colored aprons) and they will usually be able to tell you about some upcoming events at their church where you’ll be able to drink your fill.<\/p>\n 8. If you’re worried about Cooties, don’t. They wipe the chalice after each use and rotate it. The physical cleaning combined with the alcohol will take care of most of them and your immune system, if it’s functioning properly, will take care of the rest.<\/p>\n 9. Lately, I’ve been drinking directly from the cup–guess I’ve got some “One Cupper” in my blood. But I do occasionally exercise the second option, and if you’re still worried about Cooties with flu season picking up, you can too. “Intinction” means dipping, same way you dip your chicken nuggets in the honey mustard sauce. Sometimes, it is the custom at a particular Episcopal church for you to dip it in the wine yourself and then eat it, although I have found this to be more rare. Usually, a second server or priest will come along and take the wafer from your still-cupped hand and dip it in the wine and say, “The Blood of Christ.” You then stick out your tongue as far as you can (one of the few times in life where that move will be completely appropriate) and allow the server to deposit the now red-stained, moist wafer on the tip of your tongue. It is very important to not lose focus at this point and get fidgety (REMEMBER RULE #1!). You are not an aircraft carrier deck, and the server is not Tom Cruise in Top Gun<\/em>. If you start bobbing up and down or moving side to side, or if the server’s depth perception is a little off or her hand is trembling a bit, you might catch a piece of finger along with the wafer. If this happens, just try to be cool about it. There won’t be a loud buzzer that goes off like it did when you played that game “Operation” as a kid, although come to think of it, that might go along way toward improving accuracy. Instead, you will both try to pretend like nothing unusual happened. The server will very surreptitiously wipe his or her hand on their vestment, you will think Wow, now that was different<\/em>, and life will go on.<\/p>\n 10. It’s now time to leave. It is customary to say “Amen” and cross yourself, but you don’t have to. I have worked my way up to the “Amen” after a lifetime of being told not to shout in church, but I need to get a tutorial on “crossing” before I go any further.<\/p>\n 11. You then return to the same pew, same spot. You can kneel and pray and thank God for His mercy on you a sinner or anything that you please. Or, you can simply sit and pray. Or, you can often do like I do and sit and listen to the music (it’s usually quite beautiful) and people watch as others return to their seats. Entire families go forward, and small children not old enough to take or understand communion often have gone too, crossed their little arms, and been blessed by the priest. It’s very sweet, and it usually brings tears to Eyegal’s eyes (okay, okay, mine too). Usually, people are all smiles and it’s a very festive moment. It’s one of my favorite parts.<\/p>\n 12. I might also add, you don’t have to take communion if you don’t want to, although you’re more likely to be “noticed” if you’re still sitting there after the rest of those on your pew have gone forward. Still, Episcopalians will pretend they don’t notice. They’re cool like that.<\/p>\n After it’s all over with, you’ll most like think Hey, that wasn’t so bad. I didn’t know what I was missing! <\/em>In all likelihood, you’ll feel blessed and strengthened to go out and do the work that the Lord has set in front of you to do. Including loving all of those visiting relatives–the ones with the annoying habits that make you want to grind your teeth into powdery, white dust–during their overextended holiday stays.<\/p>\n I’ve had this thought recently: If we all (Christians of all stripes and tribes, other “religious people,” atheists, agnostics, rich and poor, “conservatives” and “liberals”) ate together more often, we would probably spend less time fussing and fighting over stuff that really ultimately doesn’t matter. It’s hard to hate “The Others” when you eat with them and realize that they too sometimes get a piece of food stuck at the corner of their mouths. Humor and Irony are nonsectarian and nonpartisan.<\/p>\n Merry Christmas to all, God Bless us every one, and bon appetit<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Recently a Church of Christ friend of mine wrote to me and said that he was considering attending an Episcopal Church Christmas Eve service and that he was a little intimidated by the prospect of having…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,33,76,48,46,44,86,51,87,40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christianity","category-churches-of-christ","category-faith","category-family","category-holidays","category-humor","category-liturgy","category-religion","category-sacrament","category-southern-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5732"}],"version-history":[{"count":46,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5732\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9068,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5732\/revisions\/9068"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}