{"id":697,"date":"2007-05-30T05:54:50","date_gmt":"2007-05-30T10:54:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=697"},"modified":"2022-01-02T07:38:21","modified_gmt":"2022-01-02T12:38:21","slug":"forrest-knows-best","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=697","title":{"rendered":"Forrest Knows Best"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"gumpbamacoach.jpg\"Some of us will be headed down to Tuscaloosa later today so that Number One can attend Bama Bound, the student orientation at the University of Alabama. Needless to say, he’ll be facing some very tough decisions.<\/p>\n

Nah, I’m not talking about classes. I figure that there’ll be plenty of sections of “N’Yuck, N’Yuck, N’Yuk–The Three Stooges in the 21st Century” and “Careers in Guitar Hero–You Too Can Be Ronnie Van Zant” to choose from.<\/p>\n

I’m talking about more important stuff like football.<\/p>\n

You see, since the resurgence of interest in Crimson Tide football following the hiring of multimillion dollar messiah Nick Saban, the student government moved last spring to only allow entering freshman to attend part of the scheduled home games so that more tickets could be spread around and more students could attend. Their solution was to divide the seven game home schedule into two “equally desirable packages,” one for four games, the other for three.<\/p>\n

And here they are:<\/p>\n

Package #1: Arkansas, LSU, Houston, Louisana-Monroe<\/p>\n

Package #2: Western Carolina (the home opener), Georgia, Tennessee<\/p>\n

I thought I would help Number One out in his decision and take an opinion poll among my readers. I know none of you would ever lead a nice young man like Number One astray, despite whatever misguided allegiances you might have. So, which of these packages would you choose and why?<\/p>\n

I have a feeling I know which one he’s going with, but who knows what impact you might have on this decision? For road games, since he will have less than 65 credit hours at Bama, he’ll be able to choose two games from any of the road schedule–except the Big One down at that Barner school. Bummer.<\/p>\n

If this poll doesn’t work out, I know who’ll I’ll ask–he’ll know.<\/p>\n

Forrest knows best.<\/p>\n

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Some of us will be headed down to Tuscaloosa later today so that Number One can attend Bama Bound, the student orientation at the University of Alabama. Needless to say, he’ll be facing some very tough…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[66,43,48,44,72,40,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-697","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alabama-crimson-tide-football","category-college-football","category-family","category-humor","category-nick-saban","category-southern-culture","category-sports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/697","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=697"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/697\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9602,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/697\/revisions\/9602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}