{"id":79,"date":"2006-02-13T12:13:00","date_gmt":"2006-02-13T16:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=79"},"modified":"2022-01-02T07:39:53","modified_gmt":"2022-01-02T12:39:53","slug":"barking-up-the-wrong-tree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=79","title":{"rendered":"Barking Up the Wrong Tree"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m always amused by the search strings that lead some to land on Ocular Fusion<\/em>. There have been some post-worthy ones in the past, but this one takes the cake. Both yesterday and this morning, several visitors Googled “school closings for the blizzard of 06,” and when they followed the link of the #1 hit, lo and behold, they landed here<\/a>!<\/p>\n

In what can only be described as a cruel and ironic twist of fate, apparently there have been several of my fellow citizens who are seeking critical survival information in the blizzard-bound Northeast and have landed on my site only to get some Alabama hayseed prattling on about bread and milk runs at the local grocery store.<\/p>\n

My apologies to my Blue State friends who have been so misled and misdirected–it was my intent to entertain with tongue planted firmly in tobacco-filled cheek, not to deceive. Fortunately Google, being the omniscient and omnipotent search engine that it is, has apparently recognized its error and I have since disappeared from the internet snow survival guide radar.<\/p>\n

But please do stop by again soon and next time “pull up a cheer and sit a spell.” Although you may have barked up the wrong tree on this occasion, you may actually discover some useful, perhaps even critical, information here in the future–such as how to get all gussied up and drive like Dale, Jr. to church three times a week or how to cast your vote in the next presidential election.<\/p>\n

——————————————————————————–<\/p>\n

Update: As of 9:30PM CST, Google is once again picking up my site in response to the query above. In fact, I’m back at #8 on the list. Obviously Google has deemed the information on milk and bread important enough to pass on to the snow-bound masses.\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m always amused by the search strings that lead some to land on Ocular Fusion. There have been some post-worthy ones in the past, but this one takes the cake. Both yesterday and this morning, several…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,44,40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogging","category-humor","category-southern-culture","comments-off"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9759,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions\/9759"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}