{"id":792,"date":"2007-08-29T07:08:54","date_gmt":"2007-08-29T12:08:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=792"},"modified":"2022-01-02T07:38:01","modified_gmt":"2022-01-02T12:38:01","slug":"the-rush-of-blood-to-the-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=792","title":{"rendered":"A Rush of Blood to the Head"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not talking about the Coldplay album<\/a>–although it’s a good one. I’m talking about the rush of blood to the head that occurs anytime you take a good lick to your noggin’. For Garrison Keillor, a close encounter with a low-lying beam elicits the memory<\/a> of his old battle-hardened, ex-Marine journalism professor at the University of Minnesota, Mr. Robert Lindsay. For me, it’s the memory of the understated brutality of my old, formaldehyde-soaked anatomy professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, Dr. Steven Zehren.<\/p>\n

For the most part, I sailed through an academically challenging public high school and Harding University without too much difficulty. My string of academic success was severely threatened in the Fall of 1986, though, as I entered Dr. Zehren’s gross anatomy lab, located deep in the bowels of Volker Hall, just down the hall from the dungeon and the torture chamber. It was no mere anatomy lab–it was the place where dreams of a professional career go to die. Very slowly, and with considerable pain. Many entered, but only a few returned.<\/p>\n

Or so they said. And I was stupid enough to believe all the hype and became convinced that I would finally, after all those years of being a “smart one,” be exposed as an academic fraud. Oh, it was tough mind you. My cranium expanded a few millimeters as I struggled to memorize millions of pieces of anatomical minutiae, and then, for heaven’s sake, apply<\/em> it. But with the help of my lab partners and much encouragement from Eyegal (you must<\/em> pass this class or we starve!), I lived to tell the tale. Still, a bump on the head does bring to mind images of Dr. Zehren, standing there in his yellow-tinged lab coat, a skull in one hand, an unclaimed humerus in the other, grinning that wicked grin of his.<\/p>\n

Did I mention that he was from Wis-KAHN-son? Well, he was. As it turned out, so was one of my lab partners, Laurie. One of my other lab partners was Carl, from Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Carl would tease Laurie mercilessly about her accent. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.<\/p>\n

“Listen ta Laurie,” Carl would gleefully drawl. “You shore kin tell that girl’s from Wis-KAHN-son!”<\/p>\n

One day, Dr. Zerhen approached our table and stood quietly as we worked away on our 300 lb. female cadaver whom we had affectionately named “Bertha” (well, actually “Big Bertha,” although we were careful not to call her that around Dr. Zerhen). He listened in as Carl started in again on Laurie and her funny way of pronouncing things.<\/p>\n

In a very casual way, Dr. Zerhen leaned over our table to look at our dissection. He then looked at Carl, smiled an evil grin, and in his best Osh Kosh B’ Gosh accent proclaimed:<\/p>\n

“Carl, I’m from Wis-KAHN-son too.”<\/p>\n

The rush of blood from Carl’s head was extraordinary, leaving him just a shade whiter than Big Bertha. And for a moment there, I thought we had another cadaver on our hands.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m not talking about the Coldplay album–although it’s a good one. I’m talking about the rush of blood to the head that occurs anytime you take a good lick to your noggin’. For Garrison Keillor, a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36,32,44,53,54,81],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-792","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-eyes","category-harding-university","category-humor","category-music","category-nostalgia","category-uab"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/792","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=792"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/792\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9539,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/792\/revisions\/9539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}