{"id":998,"date":"2008-05-01T05:42:19","date_gmt":"2008-05-01T10:42:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=998"},"modified":"2022-01-02T07:37:34","modified_gmt":"2022-01-02T12:37:34","slug":"thou-shalt-not-kick-thy-neighbors-a","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/?p=998","title":{"rendered":"Thou Shalt Not Kick Thy Neighbor’s A$#"},"content":{"rendered":"

Once upon a time, just like the cell phone commercial<\/a>, I fretted over how much time my kids spent text messaging their friends.<\/p>\n

Then I tried it. And like Mikey, I liked it!<\/a> There were many occasions and situations when a short text made more sense than calling. So we got an unlimited text message package and we all lived happily ever after.<\/p>\n

But before the other night, I had never texted anyone except family members. But someone Lindsay changed all that…<\/p>\n

Lindsay (texting from a number not in my address book): Hey its lindsay! Hope you guys are prepared to kick some neighbor in the a$#!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I started to ignore it and let it go, but then I thought, hey this could be interesting, so I replied…<\/p>\n

Me: Lindsay, I think you have the wrong number<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A minute passes, and then…<\/p>\n

Lindsay: This isn’t frog?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’ve answered to a lot of things in my day, but “frog” is not one of them. So, I responded…<\/p>\n

Me: Nope, this is the eyeguy<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There is now a very<\/em> long pause during which time Lindsay is no doubt texting some other friend to check “frog’s” number and to reconsider just what kind of weirdo she has stumbled into. But, ultimately, she does the right thing…<\/p>\n

Lindsay: Sorry eyeguy<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’m starting to like Lindsay more and more by now, so I took a chance…<\/p>\n

Me: Its aight. But don’t kick your neighbor in the a$#. K?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This time there is a quicker reply…<\/p>\n

Lindsay: K<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once upon a time, just like the cell phone commercial, I fretted over how much time my kids spent text messaging their friends. Then I tried it. And like Mikey, I liked it! There were many…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48,44,20,45,50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-998","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-humor","category-huntsville","category-media","category-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/998","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=998"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/998\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9416,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/998\/revisions\/9416"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=998"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=998"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocularfusion.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=998"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}