Category: Humor

Bad Eye Joke #1

Mr. Smith was on his death bed and knocking at the Pearly Gates. He called his son to his bedside and made one final request.

In a raspy voice, he asked, “Son, I’ll be gone soon, but before I go, there’s one of the Great Questions of Life that I must have answered. Please go get Dr. Jones.”

His son looked at his father in confusion; Dr. Jones was the town optometrist, the last person in the world, it seemed, who could do his father any good. But the son was eager to fulfill his father’s dying wish, so off he went to fetch Dr.… Read the rest

O Midget, Where Art Thou?–An Update

In an earlier post, I wrote about how my high school friend Eric Ferguson was using a populist strategy and one of my favorite movies in his effort to defeat incumbent Republican Allen Dudley in the 9th District race for the Virginia House of Delegates. The returns are now in, and despite a hard fought, some would say “muddy,” campaign, Eric came up just short, losing by a mere 1200 votes (53% to 47%).

With FDR and “Giv’em Hell” Harry as his patron saints and Dave “Mudcat” Saunders as his campaign strategist, Eric almost pulled it off. He went negative in a nuclear way in the closing weeks, drawing the attention of the Washington Post and predictions of an upset.… Read the rest

What’s So Bad About Being Fast?

Fisher DeBerry, head football coach at the US Air Force Academy has gone and done it again. First there was that little “I Belong to Team Jesus” banner hanging in his office that got him into hot water. Now he’s enduring the gauntlet of the national media after making what many judge to be the racially insensitive remark that African American athletes can “run very well.”

He said this on Tuesday in the wake of his team’s 48-10 loss to TCU and has been paying for it ever since with several rounds of apologies and clarifications. He has now been officially reprimanded by the Air Force Academy Superintendent, but it does appear that he will keep his job.… Read the rest

Looking Like Larry

Since that fateful day that I began baring my innermost soul in Ocular Fusion, the reader need only refer to my rambling, incoherent posts and personal blog profile to uncover some of the more sordid details of my life.

One personal feature that is not apparent, however, is what I look like. I figured at first that keeping my face concealed would add a sort of J.D. Salinger style mystique that would be good for business. But an incident at work last week convinced me that, for better or worse, I need to uveil my mug to the world.

I look like Larry.… Read the rest