Ivy League or Bust at Age Seven

Eyegal has just started doing some substitute teaching at a local, K-12 prep school that has the reputation (well-earned, I believe) of providing the finest academic training in North Alabama. There the sons and daughters of the area’s doctors, lawyers and corporate heads begin their long odyssey of learning which will someday lead to them taking their rightful place on top of the socioeconomic pile.

And there are others too who are not quite so well off, the sons and daughters of faculty plus those who are there on scholarship, trying to rise above bad starts and bad situations. She’s been teaching first and second graders, and overall, she’s found the kids to be bright, polite and charming to a fault and eager to learn.… Read the rest

Thank God for Incarnation–and iPods

People cross this world
Over and then back again
Never even one time lift their eyes
Or think of what they say

But I hear it in your voice, love
Like someone sweetly willing
The hope of all these years,
the prayer of a time
that we don’t even know

But it’s a hard road that we follow
The saddest cities, and the darkest hollows

But I hear it in your voice, love
The strongest sound
I’ve ever heard
Like water from a well
so deep in the ground
I’ll never thirst again

–“Hollow” from Hem’s “Eveningland”

And if God doesn’t get your attention with a good joke, them maybe some music will do the trick.… Read the rest

I’m the Dog on the Right

dog-joke.jpg

–Bunny Hoest and John Reiner

I know it’s probably not that funny, but for some reason it struck me so. The laugh that ensued–a soul-cleansing guffaw– sprang from a deep, wounded place, and the tears flowed freely like a baptism of mirth, washing away my weekend woes (and no, they had nothing to do with football).

Sometimes God uses a burning bush, and sometime He just comes along and whacks you up side the head with a good joke.

In case you don’t recognize me, I’m the dog on the right. And yes, I do occasionally play dead. But I tell you one thing–under no circumstances will I ever roll over.… Read the rest

Eventually Saban Provides National Title

With the resurging Tide catapulting back into the Top 25 for the first time since 2005, ESPN College Gameday will be broadcasting live from Tuscaloosa tomorrow morning. That should give Number One Son a good reason to roll out of the sack long before his usual Saturday wake-up time of twelve noon. It’s my understanding that many will be camping out tonight in the hopes of getting some face time with Chris, Corso and Herbie, but Number One says he will not be among them. As a result, he will likely be more toward the back unless he gets up really early (highly unlikely), and that means he’s going to need a large-print, creative acronym sign in order to leave his mark on a national TV audience.… Read the rest

Video Angst

Apparently it’s not just baseball managers who fret over stolen signals and suffer video angst. In the wake of the New England Patriot/Bill Belichick imbroglio over sideline videotaping, the Georgia Bulldogs have closed their football practices for the first time in seven years.

Why now, you ask? Well, as the Atlanta Journal and Constitution reports, Crimson Tide HC Nick Saban used to work as (are you ready for this?) the defensive coordinator for Bill Belichick during his Cleveland Browns days. And to top it off, Saban and the Dolphins were accused of stealing signals last year from none other than the New England Patriots (the NFL investigated and found the accusation to be baseless).… Read the rest

I’m An Optimist–I Just Have to Work At It

In case you haven’t noticed, I try to remain fundamentally cheerful and optimistic on this blog. I figure that the world is full of enough overwrought, rant-filled, spiteful fare, so I aim to provide a little counterweight. Plus, it’s an exercise in self-discipline, for I am by nature fundamentally pessimistic and sometimes downright morose.

So, this morning, I pause to take in a lungful of crisp, autumn-tinged air and give thanks for the following:

  • My wife, who rather than committing me to the local mental hospital, playfully joined in my craziness last night and helped me track down and destroy that nasty wood roach (the mere sight of which caused me to go apopleptic) which managed to slip inside when I opened the door to the garage
  • Number One, who, despite being involved in two, count’em, TWO car wrecks (plus a close encounter as a pedestrian with another car which he has not seen fit to tell me about yet–I have my sources) since arriving in Tuscaloosa, is nonetheless in good health.
… Read the rest

Fire. At. Will.

JRB and I recently found ourselves in a discussion over the willingness of Alabama Coach Nick Saban to go for two points during the Vanderbilt game a couple weeks ago. He felt like St. Nick was “piling on” the points, and I felt that he wasn’t. One of the points I brought up was my memory of Alabama’s thrashing of the Virginia Tech Hokies when they came to Blacksburg in 1973. That final was 77-6 even after The Bear had gone through the entire 3rd string, the waterboys and a couple of tuba players.

As I pointed to JRB, 77-6 is something to complain about, not a measly 2-point conversion in a relatively low-scoring game in which your QB has had trouble finding his mark inside the Red Zone and simply needs the practice.… Read the rest

Stars Fell on Alabama

“Stars Fell on Alabama” late Saturday night under the Tuscaloosa lights. Just in case you missed it the first time, here it is again. If you’re a Razorback fan, that one may not be safe for work.

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer! And here’s a sight for sore eyes if there ever was one. Meanwhile, back at The Barn, the smell of smoke lingered in the air.

In Montgomery, the Faulkner Eagles made their home debut, and JRB was there, passing on his love of Southern Game Day Tradition to his young daughter. And by the way, congrats to the Montgomery Biscuits who came through in dramatic fashion.… Read the rest

As the Hawg Squeals

I know some of you may have been expecting Mike the Redneck to weigh in on tomorrow’s Alabama-Arkansas match-up. Sorry to disappoint, but he went to the dentist yesterday (he actually still has two teeth left) and got one of those numbing shots and just isn’t able to talk very well right now. Nevertheless, he sends his “REE-guards.”

I spent four years of my life dwelling in The Natural State and have more readers there than in any other state besides Alabama. I hold no grudge against the Hogs. In fact, I rather like the Razorback Nation.

Why, you ask? It’s really very simple.… Read the rest

The Measures of a Good Life

Barbara died a few days ago. She lived two doors down and had been sick for about a year. It wasn’t Alzheimer’s, but something similar, another heartless, wasting disease that took her away, bit by bit, to the horror and disappointment of her husband and family who could do little but simply love her and try to ease her passage to the other side. It was not an easy death.

I did not know her well, beyond an occasional casual conversation on the sidewalk or a friendly wave as she made her way out to retrieve her morning paper while I stumbled by at the conclusion of one of my morning runs.… Read the rest

A Sacred Bond Between Doctor and Patient

I was at work doing an eye exam, where else would I be? And by the time my first patient’s eyes were fully dilated, mine were too–only for a different reason.

As I finished his exam, I told him what was unfolding, that we were apparently under attack and no one was quite sure where it was going to stop.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he replied, the blood draining ever so slightly from his face.

To this day, I will occasionally call up a patient’s records on the computer and there it will be in bold relief–9/11/01, 8:00AM.… Read the rest

Man’s Best Friend–It’s Not Just a Phrase

And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.

–Genesis 1:24-25

We had all wondered if Amazing Gracie the Wonderdog would remember Number One Son when he came home from college for the first time. On Friday evening, that question was answered in dramatic fashion.… Read the rest

It’s a Good Weekend When…

It’s a good weekend when…

  • The two soccer teams that your sons play for go a combined 4-1 for the weekend…
  • When you oldest son manages to travel from Tuscaloosa to Huntsville for a brief visit, then on to Atlanta for a Dave Matthews/Allman Brothers concert and then back to Tuscaloosa without getting into yet another wreck…
  • The Crimson Tide beats the so-called “experts'” 3 1/2 point spread against Vanderbilt and wins by a margin much closer to what you predicted…
  • You become a full-fledged convert to the Crimson Way by staying up late watching Auburn lose in OT to South Florida and then high-fiving it with Number Two Son, the former Vols fan…
  • You step on the scales and learn that you’ve actually lost 2 lbs over the past week and a half despite the fact that you haven’t run a single step…
  • You get to teach a class at church that you’re actually excited about (Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline)
  • Your friend who moved to Egypt shows up unexpectedly for a visit bringing with him his friend Akhmed who is visiting a Christian church for the first time in his life…
  • Akhmed enjoys your class and you get to visit with him for a while and make a new friend from a faraway place…
  • You get to teach Akhmed the all-purpose, always-appropriate phrase, “Roll Tide, Roll!”
… Read the rest

Listening to My Body

I’ve been listening to my body lately, and this is what it’s been telling me:

Stop, Eyeguy, stop!

That’s right, an inflamed left Achilles tendon and a flare-up of my sciatica have knocked me out of marathon contention for this fall and left me wincing anytime I try to take a step over 4 miles per hour or so. Most of you can imagine how important an Achilles tendon is to running (as in, not optional), and for those of you who have never experienced sciatica, picture a 6-inch ice pick in the small of your back and the resulting pain which radiates from your buttocks down to your ankle.… Read the rest

The Greatest Alabama Fan in the World

She might as well have been sent straight from central casting.

She was fifty-something, a beautician or some kind of county court clerk if I had to guess, five foot two and 110 lbs if she was an ounce. Her nails were painted a glossy Crimson, her skin was leathery brown, probably from a few too many sessions in the tanning bed. Her hair was bleach-blond, her brown dirt, brunette roots proudly showing through. She wore a Bama tank top, grey sweatshorts and Roll Tide flip-flops. She was loud, salty and full of sass, in a Steel Magnolias, Ouiser Boudreaux sort of way (although I can assure you, she was no Cajun).… Read the rest