Category: Mike the Redneck

If God Is An Auburn Tiger–I Quit

God is always on the side of the big battalions.

–Voltaire

A friend reminded me of this quote recently as we “tweeted” about the idea that God might actually “take sides” in a football game. Or for that matter, any of the myriad of contests, skirmishes, wars, etc. which we deem so important.

I’ve written on the relationship between college football and religion many times before, most recently here. The key to understanding that last post is that it was intended as pure, 100%, unadulterated parody, designed to poke fun at the very idea that God is a Crimson Tide fan or that God and football mix together in any sort of significant way.… Read the rest

BREAKING: God Blesses Bama, Picks Tide to Repeat As BCS National Champs

In a stunning development that will likely leave Lee Corso and “Herbie” Herbstreit looking like tiny ants waving their itsy-bitty antennae in a desperate bid for attention, the Lord God Himself has broken His silence and declared His allegiance to the University of Alabama and picked the Crimson Tide to repeat as 2010 BCS National Champions.

Long suspected of rocking the Houndstooth beneath the dense billows of smoke and pillar of fire which conceal Him wherever He goes, God came out of the cloud yesterday and ended all speculation as to His true colors (Crimson and White) before the season even started.… Read the rest

Bama Fans Storm State Capital in Montgomery

In the most stunning political turn since Fort Sumter, University of Alabama football fans have ringed the State Capital Building in Montgomery with a barricade of RVs and double-wide mobile homes in an attempt to seize control of the state government.

They are demanding that Republican gubernatorial candidate Tim James cease and desist from his campaign and that Governor Bob Riley establish a new executive office, Beloved Athletic Ruler (B’AR), which would be co-equal with Governor and occupied by Alabama Head Coach Nick Saban.  Riley, an Alabama alumnus, is reported to be seriously considering the ultimatum.

The movement began suddenly this past week after James, an Auburn grad, allegedly made intemperate and ill-advised remarks regarding Saban in which he questioned the coach’s maternal bloodline and threatened to reduce his salary or even outright “fahr his a**!”… Read the rest

Rosa to MLK to JRB–Justice Rollin’ On Like A River

But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!

–Amos 5:24

Regular readers know him as JRB. He’s a Harding grad like me and the most prolific commenter on this blog, the one whose fervent man-passion for his beloved ‘Dores and his meticulous command of the King’s English often get him into a scrap or two with my Bama-lovin’ alter ego, Mike the Redneck.

And through the power of the written word, a cell phone speed dial and a few blessed opportunities to break bread together, he has become one of my best friends and confidantes in the world and the “little brother” I never had.… Read the rest

Up Klose and Persun-uhl with Mike The Redneck

It was a Faustian bargain if there ever was one. The deal was that I could blog about the Olympics to my heart’s content if I would then feature a one-on-one interview with everybody’s favorite itty-bitty Bama fan, Mike the Redneck, who was about to bust his little beer gut to talk about the start of the college football season.

So yesterday the two of us sat down for a little Tuscaloosa tête-à-tête, and here’s what transpired:

MTEG: Well, look what the polecat just drug in! If it isn’t Mike the Redneck!

MTRN: Thahutt’s kute. Nice to see you too, Eyeball boy.… Read the rest

As the Hawg Squeals

I know some of you may have been expecting Mike the Redneck to weigh in on tomorrow’s Alabama-Arkansas match-up. Sorry to disappoint, but he went to the dentist yesterday (he actually still has two teeth left) and got one of those numbing shots and just isn’t able to talk very well right now. Nevertheless, he sends his “REE-guards.”

I spent four years of my life dwelling in The Natural State and have more readers there than in any other state besides Alabama. I hold no grudge against the Hogs. In fact, I rather like the Razorback Nation.

Why, you ask? It’s really very simple.… Read the rest

Gameday Behavior

The University of Alabama promotes good sportsmanship by student-athletes, coaches and spectators. Fans must conduct themselves with good sportsmanship to reflect the high standards of honor and dignity that characterize The University of Alabama. Anyone associated with an athletic program or event should reflect respect, fairness, civility, responsibility and courtesy to others. Profanity, vulgar cheers, intimidating actions, intoxication, belligerent or abusive behaviors will not be tolerated. Fans attending Alabama football games are expected to stay off the playing field, including after the game, and will not throw objects onto the field.

Positive support of the players, coaches and officials is strongly encouraged.

… Read the rest