Dr. Eyeguy, Culture Warrior

When I woke up yesterday morning, I was just regular “Mike the Eyeguy.” But then I went and wrote a post on Nancy Grace and the Church of Christ, grabbed my cuppa morning Joe, and settled into my usual rut and routine, expecting just another typical day.

Soon massive internet search engines kicked in, sorting through the roiling blogosphere for terms such as “Winkler,” “Nancy Grace and the Church of Christ,” “Church of Christ cult,” and “Rube Shelly, psychology.” By the dozens, they treked to my humble “basketball and life blog” which on a good day receives around 50 “hits,” just enough to maintain a modicum of respectability and convince me that I’m not completely wasting my time.

But then I hit the motherlode. My playful jab at Ms. Grace was picked up and linked at “The All Spin Zone–Progressive Politics Writ Large” and at that point my stat counter went through the proverbial roof.

That site is run by a dentist (I kid you not) who felt that my post and others by Church of Christ members who took exception to Ms. Grace’s antics were a sure sign that we had “gone ballistic” to the point that the entire Winkler family would be left all alone on the mourner’s bench while the Church of Christ Nation marched on Atlanta and raided the offices of CNN, commando style.

I tried to assuage his fears in the comment section by telling him, that yeah, we’re sounding off a bit (and that we’re far from perfect), but, no, the Winkler family will not be left alone and in fact will continued to be “surrounded by prayer” and assistance for as long as it takes. I hope that helped.

Regardless, by the end of the day, after receiving more visitors to my site than ever before, I felt that I had been transformed from Mike the Eyeguy, college basketball pundit wannabe, to Dr. Eyeguy, Culture Warrior.

Personally, I would much rather get back to basketball. But I have always preached that Christians should seek out winsome and intelligent ways to engage the issues being debated in the public square and this seemed like a good time to try to put that into action.

As I told the SpinDentist, when “there are ‘untrue assertions’ being made, the public square is open to all (including Christians) to step up and attempt to set the record straight.” I went on to say that “practicing discernment and debating in the marketplace of ideas are tricky at best, and none of us do it perfectly.” That includes me of course, and I’m sure there are many Christians and non-Christians alike who feel that using a dash of humor and a pinch of sarcasm in order to write “for effect” is unseemly behavior for someone who claims to follow Christ.

I respect that opinion and recognize its merits. I also seem to recall a few episodes in the lives of Jesus and St. Paul when they spoke forthrightly to their opponents and were not above a snarky comment or two. A few hundred years before their time, there was another Preacher who, after looking around a bit, observed that “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” He goes on to list such opposites as as “tearing down” and “building up,” all of which have their place depending on the circumstances. Although they appear to be contradictory, together they make for a paradoxically balanced life in all its well-roundedness and complexity.

There may be a time and a place for a Christian to enter the public square and get into a scrap or two. But it should never be done so much that it becomes our trademark (and I fear too often it is). And never, under any circumstances, should it be done with a sneer or a scowl. If you’re going to “fight,” be a happy culture warrior, one who has a wry smile on his face and a song (and prayer) in her heart.

So there it is, my moment in the sun as a culture warrior–such as it is. Does anyone know what time the Final Four tips off?

  1. Ed

    The Commando Raid is off? I didn’t get the e-mail 🙁

  2. mike the eyeguy


    Stand down, soldier–all in good time.

  3. DJG

    Oh my I hope Super Eye guy don’t get to big for us…his loyal non-important readers….

  4. mike the eyeguy


    Not to worry, the loyal ‘uns are the best ‘uns.

    Besides, Eyegal has a knack for keeping me humble. She is the kryptonite to my large head.

  5. Hal

    Dear Large Head,

    Very interesting. I left a comment on the SpinDentist’s blog. His conclusions are emotional and illogical. Whereas I always find your’s well thought out.

    Even though I’m not a CoC member I would like to know when the raid on CNN is scheduled. I’d love to join you. I’m a fan of the other news network – the one that claims to be “fair and balanced.” HA! I don’t believe there is such a beast.

  6. mike the eyeguy

    LTC Hal–

    That’s what we need, a real officer to help lead the raid.

    Here’s the plan: the two of us rappel down the side of the CNN building and crash into the offices of Nancy Grace and Anderson Cooper. I’ll do an eye exam on Nancy, you take Anderson. We’ll use atropine to dilate (that should leave them good and foggy for a few days) and prescribe glasses that are a couple of diopters off from what they actually need. To top it off, we’ll fit them with those ugly BCGs (“Birth Control Glasses”) that you guys hand out to our men and women in uniform.

    The end result will be that Nancy and Anderson will have such blurry vision that they will be unable to read their monitors, resulting in a “Tower of Babel” scenario similar to that experienced by Steve Carell’s anchorman character Evan Baxter in that movie “Bruce Almighty.” In addition, the audience will be so aghast at the sight of those big, brown ugly glasses, that no one will want to watch them anymore.

    No shots fired, misson accomplished.

  7. Hal

    HOOAH!! We’ll leave them looking like Mr. Magoo in their BCGs. I’m reaching for my body armour and combat retinoscope as I type this.


  8. mike the eyeguy

    Roger Wilco. Be sure to bring extra ibuprofen and Ben-Gay.

  9. Hoots Musings

    Mike I can always trust you for a hint of sarcasm and tongue in cheek.

    I am a recovering Main Stream Media addict who only watches Fair and Balanced.

    I would be happy to storm the CNN HQ with all of you, but can I stay on the ground and hand out snacks?

    Thanks for a great post and a good chuckle. Tell Mrs. Eyeguy to stay the course!

  10. mike the eyeguy


    You are hereby designated the officer in charge of hospitality. Your call sign is OREO. Oh, and don’t forget the Kool-Aid.

    Eyegal obviously has her hands full keeping me in line.

  11. contratimes

    Mt Eg,

    Well, well. Good for you. You’re a worthy man to be knighted ‘culture warrior.’ I pray you will not shirk your responsibilities.

    The spin dentist is not like you: it is clear that he speaks before he thinks. OK. Maybe that is harsh, but it was apparent from a couple of his posts that he was not nearly as circumspect as you. There is power in intellectual caution and humility. Thinking something through before opining is perhaps the most egregiously neglected practice on the planet. Of course, I am assuming that people have any idea what it means to be intellectually cautious. You are an outstanding example of a jumper who not only looks before he leaps, you look during the entire descent.

    May your stat counter click higher than the number of times you’ve said, “Please hold this over your left eye and read the bottom row.”

    Hovering around 20/400,

    Bill the Spectacled

  12. mike the eyeguy

    GI Bill,

    Thanks for the encouraging words; I’m only trying to follow the example of you, the Captain of all smiling Culture Warriors. Although I’m sure you’re taller, I consider you the Gimli of those who would dare enter the public square.

  13. contratimes

    mi t ey gy,

    You could not have given me a heartier moment of merriment! It is good to start the day with laughter.

    I am honored to be considered Gimli in this grand fellowship. You, my friend, seem more an Elrond than any of the bumbling band with whom I travel. Perhaps I am wrong: but you are fleet of foot, I bet, proof that you are of Elvish descent. Plus, you’ve got the eyesight: I’ve never seen you miss your mark (of course, I am dependent on your fraternal order to ensure I have the power to see that you never miss).


    Bill the Myopic OrcMasher (I love hammering those short-sighted goblins)

  14. mike the eyeguy


    Glad it brought a smile to your bearded face! As a good friend reminded me recently, we must continue to laugh, lest we drown in this “veil of tears.”

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