Dad, Uncle Mike Said A Bad Word!

utfla1mp238410_t600.jpgThis picture of distraught Tennessee Vol fans was taken at Florida last year, but it’s probably pretty representative of how they looked toward the end of that 41-17 smackdown in T-town a few weeks later when the Million Dollar Band was firing up The Rammer Jammer.

For those of you from other less-civilized parts of the world, The Rammer Jammer is a traditional, and somewhat controversial, cheer taunt which is heard in the closing seconds of a football game when the outcome has been decided in the Crimson Tide’s favor. Oh sure, it does contain a relatively mild profanity, but that very same word is mentioned in the Bible a bunch of times after all, so it can’t be that bad.

I know what you’re thinking: Mike, that must be a sight to see. Yes it is, and if you’ve never had the privilege of sitting in Bryant-Denny Stadium on a bright and shiny fall afternoon to take part in that great Southern pastime, take a gander at what you’ve been missing.

I really don’t relish doing that cheer. Honestly. Especially when family members are involved.

But I will admit that I got caught up in the moment last year and texted the entire Rammer Jammer to my brother-in-law J. who was attending the game along with our 9-year-old nephew E.. J. is a Knoxville native and a graduate of the UT School of Medicine, so he came by his Vol-fandom honestly and is actually pretty low key and cool about it (smart move, this year especially).

E., however, is a cocky, all-orange-all-the-time, trash-talking little stinker who will wear you out with his endless smack even if your team happens to be blowing the Vols off the field.

I had intended the Rammer Jammer for J.’s eyes only, but as luck would have it, E. was manning the cell phone when the text message came in. He started to read it aloud, but when he got to the part about that afterlife destination that nobody wants to go to, he paused, turned to his father and said, “Dad, Uncle Mike said a bad word!”

Now don’t go feeling sorry for the kid. Believe me, the little punk deserved it. It was just deserts for the way he openly taunted us when Arkansas took the lead against Bama a month earlier when we were visiting them at their house (Bama, as you might recall, came back and won that one in a thriller. Take that E.–HA!).

After the game, J. and E. headed to a tailgate party. Number One quickly located them and joined the fun. There was no way he was going to miss an opportunity to give his orange-clad cousin a little grief. “Roll Tide!” he called out as he gave E. the customary headlock and noogie that older cousins are obligated by natural law to dish out in such situations.

E. was eager to give Number One the scoop on Uncle Mike and his bad word and then he looked up at him with those big, round, innocent eyes and asked him he used said that word back there at the stadium, too.

“Yes, I did,” Number One said. “But I only use it on very special occasions.”

Here’s hoping that tomorrow night’s game will be another such “very special occasion.” Because if it’s not, man, oh, man, am I ever going to hear about it.

Roll Tide, Roll. Please?

  1. mmlace

    That’s funny! I’d sure hate for you to have to hear about it from a 9-year-old!

  2. Donna

    That afterlife destination may not be the only foul word that will fly if we lose to the big orange rocky toppers…..

    I will say it with you…Roll Tide…Please!!!!

  3. That Girl

    I’ve gotten past the bad words into stunned silence.

  4. Mike the Eyeguy

    TG, all I can say about last night is wow. I mean, really, wow. For a while there, it looked like you guys had kidnapped Jim McElwain. And then…and then…wow.

    I really think CTT should have turned the heaters on there along the sideline. What was he thinking? “Aw, I’ll toughen ’em up a bit. Yeah, that’s the ticket.”

    Those boys aren’t used to those frigid 40-degree temps. I think this one falls squarely on his shoulders.

    I have to withhold too much sympathy for you guys, pending the outcome on 11/29. I know you understand.

  5. That Girl

    It’s great to be an Auburn Tiger… but it’s not easy!

  6. gkb

    Hey, we’ve got nothing left to lose this season, and the best we can hope for is to play spoiler (which I’m actually kind of hoping we don’t do, so Phil will be escorted out of town), so Saturday should be interesting!

    Rocky Top!

  7. Mike the Eyeguy

    Oh good, I was hoping this one would bring a few Rocky Toppers out of the woodwork. Now if I can just get ol’ Wiser to come out of whatever smog-induced haze he’s in over there in Malibu…

    gkb, you bring up an excellent point and one that I almost posted on. Two years ago, a goodly number of Bammers were actively hoping the Tide would lose so that Shula would be shown the door and we could finally get Bear Bryant II. That tactic turned out to serve the overall strategy quite well.

    And now both UT and Auburn are in the same win/win boat when they come up against us. Teams with nothing to lose can be awfully dangerous.

  8. Jason Bybee

    I’ll reserve comment until after the game.

    Until then, Vol Nation has earned zero smack-talk privileges.

    I will say that the little lady and my eldest son will be making the journey from here to Knoxville, so I at least hope for Junior’s sake the game is a close one. That’s a long trip home, especially after a loss.

  9. Mike the Eyeguy

    That’s awesome that Junior gets to go. Should I ask why you’re not going? Oh yeah, probably has something to do with the fact that you’re working on Sunday.

    Be sure to tell her to stop up his little ears with about a minute left!

    (man, oh, man, I hope we win…)

  10. Jason Bybee

    You guessed it. With a 6:45 kickoff, it’ll be a late night coming back. And I have to be able to string together coherent sentences Sunday morning, so I’m out.

    Lay it on thick, my friend. Like I said, I’ve earned no right to dish it out. The way I see it, we stand to gain either way. If we win, so be it. But if not, it’s just another nail in Fulmer’s coffin. I’m OK with either outcome.

  11. Mike the Eyeguy

    Wow. Finally, a complete game.

    Did you see how hard our D was hitting people last night? Remember the campy “Batman” TV series from the 60s when word clouds containing vivid descriptors like “BAM” and “ZONK” and “WHACK” would pop up during a fight scene?

    It was sort of like that. I’m starting to believe we might get this thing done. Roll Tide, Roll!

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