A Full Extension, Both-Toes-Inbounds Catch

Here’s the question: If I could somehow translate Steeler receiver Santonio Holmes’ sublime, full-extension, both-toes-inbounds Super Bowl-winning catch (or for that matter, James Harrison’s “Pass the oxygen, please” 100 yard interception return) into Eyeguy language, what would it look like?

Possible answers:

  • When I hear the splatter of rain on the gutters, I would round up my gear and go for a run anyway, or short of that, hit the elliptical trainer after work.
  • I would write something–anything–to jump-start my aging gray matter and focus it toward constructive work.
  • I wouldn’t be in so much of a rush that I would forget to kiss Eyegal before heading out the door.
  • I would remember to set the recyclables on the curve without being asked (same for trash on Tuesday).
  • I wouldn’t forget my lunch and leave it on the kitchen table.
  • When dropping off my 15-year-old at school on the way to work, rather than responding in kind to his typically adolescent pessimism and snark, I would say something witty and profound that would make him laugh, or better yet, think.
  • On the way to work, I would remember to say my “God, make me of some use to you today” prayer.
  • I would recall those for whom I promised to pray yesterday and actually do it.
  • When that jerk fellow fallen traveler cuts me off in traffic, I would respond with a chuckle and a “God bless him” rather than my usual…well, you get the picture (this is the full extension part).
  • Once at work, I would greet my fellow workers with a smile, eye contact and a “Good morning” and really mean it.
  • Once in the lane seeing patients, I would give each patient’s refraction my very best effort and not end it abruptly, even if they are non-cooperative or slow in responding, in order to maximize their vision to the fullest extent.
  • When treating my many glaucoma patients, my diagnoses would be sharp and accurate, my treatments cutting edge and appropriate to each patient and situation and my follow-up plans meticulous and timely.
  • Every patient would leave having smiled at least once and feeling that they had received the best possible care available.
  • I would remember to laugh kindly at my technician’s tenth lame joke of the day, even late in the afternoon as I’m trying to finish up my charts.
  • Come quitting time, the charts would be done, the inbox empty and all queries and complaints adequately addressed.
  • On the way home, I would stop by the gym if I didn’t run in the morning (that would be today).
  • When cut off again by the second jerk fellow fallen traveler of the day, I would repeat my morning performance (this is the both-toes-inbounds part).
  • Once home, despite my exhaustion, I wouldn’t shrink away and hide from the challenges and news of the day, but instead take a deep breath and face all of it head on like the grown-up man I should be by now.
  • I would look around and see if there was at least one thing I could do to tidy up the environment and set things straighter so that the evening might go more smoothly.
  • Rather than vegging in front of the TV, I would finally finish reading Les Miserables.
  • I would speak at least a few kind words and show some gestures of love to each member of my family, including Amazing Gracie the Wonderdog.
  • I would retire for the day, pleasantly exhausted, knowing that although I’m a waddling, middle-aged athlete wannabe, I had made my own full-extension, both-toes-inbounds catch by taking the work that God had set before me and attending to it with every grain of my being.

That’s a tall order, perfection. But in striving toward it, I would hope to be a better man and to make the world a little better place.

So, what will it look like as you strive to make your own full-extension, both-toes-inbounds catch?

  1. Mike the Eyeguy

    Truth be told, I prefer the college rules.

  2. kristiS

    I’d get up and go to class regardless of what time I go in bed last night. I’d be kind to the students in the labs I teach regardless of whether or not they deserve it. I would fold the laundry instead of leaving it in a giant pile on the couch.

  3. Donna

    I would start by quit reading blogs and tackle this stack on my desk…I wish I could punt it instead!

  4. Mike the Eyeguy

    I think you meant to say “quit reading all blogs except this one.” 🙂

  5. Mike the Eyeguy

    Kristi–not sure what you said that was so controversial, but I had to rescue you from the spam filter. It can be a temperamental little sucker, although I’d be covered up without it.

  6. kristiS

    Incidentally, I’ve already failed. I went to the one “required” class (as in it’s a lab that I instruct and I don’t have a choice) and then came back home with good laundry folding intentions. We’ll see how that goes.

  7. Mike the Eyeguy

    It zapped you again! Must be your ‘tude. 😉

    Keep reaching!

  8. carolinagirl

    I woke-up knowing I need begin running the field in executing my next geographical move. I’ll be headed North soon – as far North as one can travel and still be in the good ‘ole U. S. of A.

    Here’s to all who point their toes in order to achieve the unthinkable. Here’s to all who dare to do the unthinkable.

  9. Mike the Eyeguy

    Yeah, like running a half and a full marathon back-to-back like you did!

    Alaska, huh. Get some good gear.

Comments are closed.