A Traitor In Our Midst

The clock is ticking and you have until 11:00AM CST to enter the “Ocular Fusion Gang” pool at USA Today’s March Mania. The details on how to enter can be found here. So far, there’s only me, Number One and Number Three sons, and some person named “House of Orange.” I only know two people in my circle who would use such a moniker–Jason the Youth Minister and Jason the GynGuy, my brother-in-law. I’m not sure which one it is, but welcome nevertheless.

I’ve got news for you though. The Vols are overranked at a #2 seed, but I do have them making the Sweet 16 and falling to the team whose name we dare not speak (although I promise I will not be disappointed if the Big Orange prevails against the lads in those prissy, powder blue uniforms). You probably know that already, but you may have them going to the Final Four, and if so, that’s perfectly ok–loyalty is a rare and valued commodity these days. More on that subject a little later…

Number Two son is out of pocket this week attending some kind of goverment camp (think Boys State) in Montgomery. He didn’t have time to fill out a bracket before he left, but judging from the new Vols sweatshirts and t-shirts he picked up last week, I know where his heart lies. I’m not sure what he’s doing down there, but he did call yesterday and told Eyegal that he was on his way to the capital for a meeting and didn’t have much time to talk, but just called to say he was having a good time and that he loved her. This led me to think–is he in charge down there? If so, he might be an improvement over what we already have.

I have a feeling that Number Two’s first act as governor of Alabama would be to have the state annexed by our northernly neighbor and to replace the St. Andrew’s cross with the Tennessee State Flag. That would probably be followed by a move to play “Rocky Top” at all Crimson Tide home games. On second thought, he’d probably be impeached (or worse) before that would ever happen.

Watching Number Two parade around in his new Vols shirt reminded me that the Dookies in our house needed new tees for the tourney. Number One, who has converted completely to the Duke Way (and who has Duke winning it all–what a good boy!) has been rewarded with a new “Cameron Crazie” shirt. Number Three and I are still waiting for our 2006 ACC Championship Locker Room tees to arrive, but hopefully they’ll be here by the second round on Saturday.

I’ve been listening to the pundits over the past few days, and almost to a man they have Duke losing to Texas in the regional final. Now that could possibly happen, but on what basis, pray tell, do they speak so confidently, as if it were a foregone conclusion? Has Duke become that much worse and Texas that much better since the Blue Devils hooked the Horns 97-66 in early December? No, I don’t think so. If I didn’t know better, I would swear that there are many who are discreetly (and not so discreetly) hoping that Duke will lose. This world can be a really messed up place sometimes.

Which brings me to my final point. It turns out that Number Three son has been listening to a little too much ESPN lately and has picked UConn over Duke in the final. To make matters worse, he even admitted to me last night that he almost picked #16 seed Southern over Duke in the first round (but then you picked them to go to the final? Okaaaaay…). The news shook me to the core, considering how the two of us have celebrated and rattled the rafters together during many Duke victories this year.

Et tu, Number Three?

I know, he’s just going with his head instead of his heart, and I’m having a little fun giving him a hard time about it. But March Madness is about passion and loyalty–not coming out on top in some stupid pool. I think there’s a lesson in all this somewhere. I just hope that it’ll be Number Three who’ll get schooled and not me.

And after Duke emerges from the fray on top next month, we’ll just have to see if the traitor in our midst will be getting a National Championship Locker Room tee!

  1. mike the eyeguy

    The patients will still get seen, I’ll just have to hustle back and forth between the break room where our TV is located and the exam room. Hey, I can multitask with the best of ’em!

  2. Jason Bybee

    House of Orange? I like, but I’m not the culprit. But fear not…I’ve simply been waiting until the last second to jump on board. I’ll sign up momentarily.

    As for my Vols, you speak truth, my friend. A #2 seed? Before Sunday, I thought we’d be lucky to nab a #4 seed. Now, I love the Vols as much as the next guy (probably more so, in fact), but I only have us winning a couple games. We shall see, though.

  3. mike the eyeguy

    Ok, then, that leaves my brother-in-law Jason the GynGuy, probably with an assist from that rapping, stay-at-home mom “Little Sis.”

    Unless, of course, there’s another Vol fan lurking out there somewhere…Number Two, is that you playing another one of your sick practical jokes?

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