Twitter Me Blue

I learned a very valuable lesson yesterday. If you’re going to be using an iPhone in subfreezing temperatures, make sure it’s fully charged. You might even want to wrap it up in a heated, insulated blanket between uses while you’re at it.

I barely had time to snap a photo or two of the Duke University campus when it completely flatlined. Can you believe that? Sure you can! It’s an iPhone! My itty-bitty blue United States map was lit up and everything, and then it just up and disappeared like the lost continent of Atlantis.

Guess I can’t blame that one on AT&T since it was a hardware issue. Oh, what the heck, maybe I will anyway. Wait till Verizon gets a hold of this one.

But the ramifications of this unfortunate turn of events are obvious: I would be unable to live-blog, Facebook and Twitter while Number Three Son and I witnessed our first basketball game at historic Cameron Indoor Stadium as Duke took on Clemson in their ACC opener. Tragedy of tragedies, the world would be deprived of my random brain farts (aka “Tweets”) which would mark this storied occasion. Oh, the humanity!

But never fear Fusioneers, Facebook friends and Tweeps, for I am reconstructing here on Ocular Fusion my Twitter timeline which would have appeared had my expensive, much-ballyhooed, piece o’ junk phone actually worked like it was supposed to.

I can hear future historians breathing a sigh of relief even now:

  • There are Tiger Woods billboards all over Asheville, NC. I don’t think think they’ve heard yet.
  • Headed into enemy turf (Chapel Hill) to have brunch with old friends. Wondering if they will serve me since I’m wearing my Duke gear.
  • There it is, Darth Williams’ Death Star. They call it The Dean Dome, but DW is trying to get the name changed to ROY’S HOUSE.
  • It may be a Chapel Hill establishment, but Crook’s Corner serves up some divine shrimp and grits, ambrosia even.
  • Loved brunching with Dan and Rebecca. We were all together in Mrs. Witcher’s 1st grade classroom back at Burnt Chimney Elementary School in 1968. Man, that was a fast 40 years!
  • Franklin Street in Chapel Hill may have its charms, but it can’t hold a candle to The Strip in Tuscaloosa. Roll Tide!
  • Wow, parking at Duke was too easy. Just hand the nice lady your $5 and you drive right into your Field of Dreams.
  • Number Three Son is awestruck by Duke Chapel. “Let’s go inside!” he exclaims. Can’t remember him ever being that excited to go to church.
  • I will admit that I often have a hard time praying. But when I walk into Duke Chapel, the words just pour out. Architecture matters.
  • Is that Coach K sitting beside Jesus on one of those stained glass windows?! Nah, I guess it must be St. John, but the resemblance is uncanny, right down to the toupee (just kidding, Coach K).
  • Number Three Son wants to know why every building on the Duke campus looks like a castle. I explain Gothic architecture and his neurons sputter and fire and make some new connections.
  • Standing at the door of the medical school looking west down the quad, the same place I stood in 1979 when I first saw the campus. It still takes my breath away.
  • The bookstore in the student center is doing a brisk business selling Duke gear on Game Day. And yes, I’m doing my part.
  • Just bought another dark blue, block letter DUKE t-shirt, same style I bought in 1979. That makes about 6 I’ve owned.
  • Ah, a gift for Eyegal–signed artist’s print of Duke Chapel. Perfect.
  • They sell little pennants of all the other ACC teams in the Duke bookstore. Except one. Guess which.
  • Number Three offered to put the Duke shot glass back if I bought him a scarf (it’s freezing). I told him he could have both. Good Dad!
  • Number Three spots Cameron for the first time: “Is that it? It’s not much bigger than Huntsville High’s gym!”
  • It’s Christmas break, and there aren’t that many undergrad Crazies in line to get in. But the ones that are here are “keeping warm” with a few cases of Bud Light and Corona.
  • Duke’s football Stadium is named after former Bama coach Wallace Wade. There’s his bust. Nice fedora. Now I know where The Bear got the idea.
  • I wonder if anyone will ever put up a bust of me anywhere? Probably not.
  • We’re standing in line now to get in the general admission door. It’s 5:00PM and the doors won’t open until 6:45. The sun is dropping and it’s getting cold.
  • I start to complain about how cold I’m getting, but then I remember that real Crazies camp for days sometimes to get a good seat and I just suck it up.
  • I think I just heard a toe snap and fall off. I can deal with that, but there are some body parts that I can’t do without.
  • Mike Gminski and Tim Brando just walked by. They stopped and chatted with us Crazie-wannabes a bit and wished us a Happy New Year.
  • Hanging out with some Clemson fans in line. Nice folks and very sports savvy. Had to straighten them out a bit on some Alabama lore though.
  • They thought our elephant mascot had something to do with a guy selling suitcases (“trunks”). Sheesh.
  • One Clemson fan just told me that the day Bama beat them last year was the worst day of his life.
  • The ushers are teasing us by cracking the doors then shutting them quickly. Cruel!
  • Ah, finally! OMG, where did I put the tickets?!?
  • Oh, here they are.
  • Now standing with the Crazies and warming up. Man, there’s not much room to stand up here. Hope I’m up to this.
  • We are literally packed in here like sardines. Hope I don’t have to go to the bathroom. Focus, focus…
  • Hey, there are three Clemson fans standing in front of me! Who let the riff-raff in here?!?
  • There are a lot of us Crazie-wannabes here tonight. The grad students are here in force, though, and doing a good job of leading us.
  • Okay, I see how this works now. Being a Crazy-wannabe is like a Church of Christer going to the Episcopal church. You just watch closely and then do what they do.
  • Time for tipoff. I think my heart is going to burst.
  • Ah, nothing like that first bucket! Go Duke!
  • Our offense is off to a slow start tonight, but our D is all over them.
  • These guys are incredibly fast and physical. TV just doesn’t do them justice.
  • OH YEAH! Singler just packed Booker’s shot and is giving him grief about it. Booker just smiled, patted Singler on the rump and said, “Yeah, yeah, you da man…”
  • Okay, we have a good lead at halftime, but I want to see more offense. Just thankful to get a chance to sit down.
  • The Crazies are saluting “Raging Towel Guy” up in the reserved seats. He responds by standing, twirling his towel and returning their love.
  • Clemson opens 2nd half with 12-0 run and some seriously stepped-up D. This could get more interesting.
  • Finally, the treys are starting to rain down! Getting very loud now. Clemson looking rattled.
  • Scheyer and Smith are a great backcourt. Maybe the best college tandem going today.
  • I am now one with the Crazies, doing everything they do in perfect synchrony. I am no longer a wannabe.
  • I can’t really jump up and down because of my back, so I do lots and lots of toe-raises. Man, my calves are going to be balled up in knots come tomorrow.
  • Pulling away now. Clemson throws in the towel and sends in the reserves.
  • And that’s a winner! 74-53 Duke.
  • Just did some dumpster-diving for souvenir cups and extra programs. It’s not that I’m cheap, it’s just that I was so packed in I couldn’t get them at half-time.
  • Wow, these Duke chairs along the end line are really nice. I wonder if they would mind if I took one home as a souvenir?
  • I think I’ll just sit here a while and soak it all in. I don’t want to go yet, but Number Three is starting to get a little antsy.
  • Was it worth it? Yes. Oh yes.
  • Putting away my Duke gear and switching back to Bama in 3, 2, 1… Roll Tide, Roll.
  1. greg

    I kept checking for tweets that did not appear.  Now I know why.Nice start to the ACC, especially after the embarrassing game @ Clemson last year.Missed the first 17 minutes on TV, though, because the Wake/Xavier game that preceded it went into 2OT!  By the way, were you shirtless, painted blue, with a blue wig on?  If so, I think I saw you on TV…

  2. Mike the Eyeguy

    Oh no, not shirtless. I haven’t been “a skin” since 1988.

    Dude, you’ve got to make the trip sometime. It is so, so worth it.

  3. laurie

    You have no idea how tempted I am to go count your characters for over-140 infractions.  🙂

  4. Rebecca

    Mike,Your blog is great!  We had a great time brunching with you and Josh as well.   Yes, it  has been a very fast 40 years.   And I completely relate to having your breath taken away by the campus that is DUKE.   It was a very long, incredible trip from a small farm in Boones Mill, VA to Duke University.   I am so glad  you enjoyed your trip.  

  5. Mike the Eyeguy

    Laurie dear, knock yourself out. Just do it, you know you want to!

  6. Mike the Eyeguy

    Many thanks to you and Dan for coming out on a cold day and meeting us for brunch! We conjured up some great memories and caught up while munching down some fine Southern cuisine. I’ll call Wahoo Lawyer soon and start bugging him about our 30th reunion. You work on him too, and maybe we’ll get something going. And stop by the old blog anytime. Would love to have you as a regular Fusioneer!

  7. Mike the Eyeguy

    Hey Stoogie,

    We were very close Saturday night to making it happen, but it fell through. Almost called you to see if you had an extra bed or two down at the mortuary. Oh well, there will be more a’coming, I’m sure. Keep up the “Roll Tides” out there in SoCal, my friend!

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