Category: Politics

Speed Voting


Wow, I’ve heard of term limits before, but never time limits.

Has anybody else seen anything like this?

I doubt it was enforced, but I had my sample ballot filled out and it still took me probably close to 3 minutes. It made me wonder if older folks who might be a little slow with their eye-brain-hand coordination and wearing who knows what strength of OTC reading glasses might not have a little trouble beating 4 minutes.

When the volunteer checked me in she said that she couldn’t find my name and asked me if I’d moved. She always comes to the first Michael “X” on the list and stops.… Read the rest

The Eyeguy Is Going Rogue!

But then again, you probably already knew that.

If for some reason you actually give a flip on how I arrived at my current political position, you can gain some insight here, here and here.

And then there’s the whole torture thing.

I’m sorry, Republicans, but you really lost me on that one. The party who was in control and authorized that as official US policy needs to take a time out and go sit in some far corner of the political wilderness and think things over very carefully. Get your crap together, bring back somebody credible like Bobby Jindal and run him as your candidate, and you might get my vote back for what it’s worth.… Read the rest

Parker v. Parker: “A Good Man Is Hard To Find”

The race for the Alabama 5th Congressional District seat being vacated by Rep. Bud Cramer has been one of the nastiest that I’ve witnessed in a long time. The two candidates, Republican Wayne Parker and Democrat Parker Griffith, have spent considerably more time and money slinging mud and impugning the other’s character than they have actually talking about themselves, their qualifications and exactly how they plan to help their constituents once they’re in office (Update: please see my correction to this paragraph in the comments section).

Just how bad has it been? So bad that even the editorial board at the Huntsville Times is fed up and has refused to endorse either candidate.… Read the rest

It’s About the Pipes, Stupid


“A full 67 percent of Americans say they’ve seen enough and they don’t want any more presidential debates. The other 33 percent are plumbers who want to hear their name on television.” – Conan O’Brien

McCain front man and pseudo-plumber “Joe” Samuel Wurzelbacher of Holland, Ohio, a.k.a. “Joe the Plumber,” continues to stretch his 15 minutes of fame to the breaking point and beyond.

Apparently, he’s gone all Nashville on us and plans to parlay his recent notoriety and mad music skillz (honed while singing the latest Aaron Tippin tune in the shower) into a recording contract. What a country!

The only question remaining is this: Who will play Joe the Plumber in the made-for-TV movie?… Read the rest

I’m a Socialist, He’s a Socialist, She’s a Socialist, We’re A Socialist, Wouldn’t You Like To Be A Socialist Too?

I’ve had to chuckle a bit at all the talk of socialism over the past few days.

I thought: Hey, aren’t we already a bit socialist anyway?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t our federal government just basically take over our financial system, and under a Republican president no less?

Don’t we already garnish a portion of the wages of working stiffs like you and me and funnel it toward a fund from which we provide health care (Medicare) and financial support (Social Security) for the elderly?

Aren’t I personally part of a system that takes your money–yes, YOUR MONEY–and pools it to provide a vast fund for the health care of our nation’s veterans, you know, the ones who as President Lincoln said, “hath borne the battle” and therefore we have a moral obligation to support?… Read the rest

The Real Debate Is In East Tennessee

I’ve been bothered by a bit of insomnia lately, but last night I slept like a baby. The difference? Presidential debate #3. Thirty minutes in, I was starting to nod and drool, so to avoid further embarrassment, I stumbled to bed and was out for the night.

I apparently missed some sharp exchanges, but I suspect those were nothing compared to the fireworks taking place at the Real Debate in Elizabethton, Tennessee. There Mark Ciptak, a blood bank employee for a local chapter of the American Red Cross, was trying to explain to his wife Layla the reason behind the loud, smelly brain fart in which he decided to go behind her back while she was still groggy from delivering their third child and change the baby’s name from “Ava Grace,” which they had previously agreed upon, to “Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak.”… Read the rest

O Say, Can You Sling? (The Mud, That Is)

In the comments from this post, Hal made a good observation to the effect that it’s important to take the long view and recall that “mud-slinging” has always been a part of American politics from our country’s inception. Now comes this article from The Washington Post verifying that same point, that verbal low-blows and fear-mongering are “nothing new under the sun.”

For instance, Abraham Lincoln’s enemies once referred to him as a “A Long, Lean, Lank, Lantern-Jawed, High Cheeked-Boned Spavined Rail-Splitting Stallion” (“spavine” refers to a general state of deterioration or decrepitude), and on another occasion as a man who “could ruin more liquor than all the boys of the town together.”… Read the rest

Dad To Son: Eat Right, Study Hard, Vote Well

Dear Number One Son,

By now, I hope you’ve received your absentee ballot for your very first presidential election. It’s your ticket to full-fledged citizenship, so try not to lose it beneath that Mt. Everest-sized laundry pile on your dorm floor.

(click here for the rest)

Read the rest

For Such A Time As This

“O God, we are in a battle that is raging for the soul of this nation. You, O God, have raised up Senator John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin for such a time as this … Help them, O God, to strengthen our economy, to keep our taxes and spending low … and grant them the privilege of being elected the next president and vice president.”

–Minister leading the “opening prayer” for a McCain/Palin rally in Bethlehem, PA on 10/8/08

Are you serious? I mean, really? Okay, now I see a little more clearly why Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the Founding Fathers wanted to keep some distance between religion and politics.… Read the rest

Blogging The Wonders Years–Chapter VII

(This is Chapter VII of a series that I started but never really finished…let me know if you want more because there’s plenty).

Listen, I know times are tough. After I checked my retirement and college savings accounts yesterday, I had to reach for my inhaler and start playing the Taizé chants on my iPod in a continual loop.

But a little perspective is in order–I lived through the Arab Oil Embargo of the 1970s, for Pete’s sake. And as this February 20, 1975 political rant from the 7th grade personal journal that I kept for Ms. Fine’s class at Burnt Chimney Elementary School in Wirtz, Virginia amply shows, I was madder than #$%@&*, and I just wasn’t going to take it any more:

You said I could think of something to put in here, so heres the one thing I thought of [we didn’t cover dangling prepositions until 10th grade].

Read the rest

Today Is Eyegal’s Born Day

Although we celebrated this occasion last week with a getaway to Nashville, you might recall I had to cut that short in order to help with the financial bailout plan (that went well, didn’t it?) and the Georgia game (’nuff said).

The bailout plan is still up in the air and now Nick is calling me about Kentucky (good grief, man, don’t you have a staff?), so I’m pretty blasted busy. Fusioneers, please help cover my back by sending some birthday love to Eyegal in the form of a comment or at least a good thought.

Gotta go. Sarah Palin just called–debate prep.… Read the rest

The Economy. Never Fear America, I’m On It

Although I’m currently in Nashville with Eyegal (saw Hansard/Irglova at the Ryman last night–it was pure magic!), I’m coming home. Following the lead of Senator McCain, I have decided to suspend this mini-vacation and all my daily activities, including personal hygiene and marital relations, until such time that we have a bailout deal in hand.

Speaking of bailouts, here’s some of the apparent rationale for the $700 billion requested by Treasury:

“It’s not based on any particular data point,” a Treasury spokeswoman told Tuesday. “We just wanted to choose a really large number.”

Data, smata–who needs it? Since we can just pull very large numbers out of thin air, may I choose the amount of my tax refund year?… Read the rest

On Living A Quiet Life, Part II

Warning: The following photo is considered by some to be like a Playboy magazine in that it must be kept behind the counter and away from curious, roving eyes:


No really, I’m not kidding.

I know a lot of Southern Baptist and Church of Christ men really like Sarah Palin and think she would be a great President Vice President, but would they typically let her speak during their services or teach a class with men present?

What’s that you say? Well, okay then, how about pass a communion tray? Hmmm…serve food at a church potluck? That’s what I thought.

And on another front of the Culture War, the same people who “stumbled” over the retro Starbucks mermaid logo are back again, and this time the Duke Blue Devils are in their crosshairs (h/t Greg):


Okay, I think they’ve really crossed some kind of line this time.… Read the rest

On Living A Quiet Life And The Ninth Commandment

Several years ago, I was asked to sign a petition in support of then Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore and his campaign to have the Ten Commandments displayed in the Alabama State Courthouse.

I declined. Not because I thought the the Ten Commandments were something to be ashamed of or that Judge Moore might not have a few good points in his defense, but mainly because a) it was illegal under the law of the land and b) I felt that he was intentionally using the issue to score political points for a later run at public office. In my opinion, that was unseemly behavior for a Christian and in marked contrast to Paul’s admonition to live a “quiet life” and to “mind your own business” in 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12.Read the rest