Category: Current Affairs

Subj: Obama is a TARHEEL!!! PLEASE FORWARD!!!

While much of the country’s attention is focused on Jeremiah’s Wright’s racial diatribes, Cindy McCain’s bank account, Hillary’s choice of liquor, Obama’s alleged Muslim-ness and Miley Cyrus’ bare back, the REAL STORY has slipped beneath the radar and been suppressed by the MSM:

Barack Hussein DEAN SMITH Obama is a TARHEEL!!!

Yes, I’m afraid it’s true. He was recently seen schmoozing with their prickly, thin-skinned HC Roy Williams and his gang of underachieving, powder blue cream puffs at the UNC basketball complex. This sick and galling display of political pandering can be seen here.

WARNING: The one of him posing with Psycho T, Williams and a very flabby Sam Perkins is NSFW!!!… Read the rest

Skinny White Guys: Wear More Deodorant and Lay Off Those Video Games

This post is dedicated to Number One Son and his roommate Zack.

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For some time now, the number of women entering the health professions has been on the rise. Most entering classes in schools of medicine, dentistry, optometry, pharmacy, etc have been comprised of around 50% women for several years.

The latest indications are that women are starting to grab a slight majority of entering slots. At the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Optometry, women are really starting to rule the roost. A source there informed me recently that the 2008 entering class will be comprised of 80% women.… Read the rest

Eat Your Heart Out Pepperdine Lectureship!

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And that goes for you too, Tulsa Soul Winning Workshop!

Just try getting 48,000 Church of Christers together like these Catholics did for Mass yesterday in Washington DC without some sort of fight breaking out over worship music styles or women’s roles in the church.

Oh wait. Catholics argue about that stuff too. But I bet they didn’t yesterday–not with “Da Man” in town. And he even spoke in English–not Latin.

So, do Church of Christers have a de facto “Pope?” Full Professor Elrod and his shy and retiring chorus consider the question.

You’ve got to hand it to him.… Read the rest

This Is Not Your Father’s Mercedes Benz

That is, if your father had a Mercedes in the first place. Mine didn’t. But he did have a gleaming white 1960 Chevy Impala coupe with fins.

But for millions of Catholics, their Father, Pope Benedict XVI, is currently cruising the streets of Washington DC in a modified Mercedes ML-430 affectionately dubbed the “Popemobile:”

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Now that is one righteous ride!

When I saw that his Holiness preferred the M-Class, I let out a loud “Roll, Benedict, Roll!” because as many of you know, that little gem is manufactured in none other than Tuscaloosa, Alabama. However, I did a little research and found that the current model was given to Pope John Paul II in June, 2002, so that means that particular one was most likely manufactured in Graz, Austria prior to Mercedes moving the entire M-Class operation to T-town.… Read the rest

April Is The Cruellist Month

April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

–T.S. Eliot The Wasteland

I think Eliot was right. And that’s not even counting my own personal tragedies that have occurred in this month.

The Washington Post tells what it’s like to try to archive all the compassionate gestures directed toward Virginia Tech last year.

And here is my own contribution.

… Read the rest

“Legally Blind” Doesn’t Mean “Blind As A Bat”

Amid the fallout of Eliot Spitzer’s prostitution scandal and subsequent resignation as Governor of New York comes a bit of ocular news. His successor, David Paterson, becomes the first legally blind governor in U.S. history.davidpaterson_flags.jpg

There’s a lot of confusion out there over what exactly “legal blindness” means. I hear patients say all the time, “I’m legally blind without my glasses or contacts.” Well, no, actually you’re not. You’re only legally blind if you’re 20/200 or worse in your better eye with your glasses or contacts.

You can also be legally blind even if you have “perfect” 20/20 vision. That happens if your visual field is constricted to the point that you can only see 20 degrees total or less in your best and widest meridian (i.e.,… Read the rest

Horton Hears a Hooah in Huntsville!

Breaking news: I’m pleased to report the that the City of Huntsville, Alabama has finished in first place in 20th Century Fox’s “Horton Hears You–Hometown Challenge.”

Last Thursday, citizens of Huntsville, bolstered by a large contingent of soldiers from Redstone Arsenal, stood in front of the Von Braun Civic Center prior to the Huntsville Havoc vs. Columbus Cottonmouths hockey game and let loose a loud barbaric yawp which reportedly red-lined decibel meters and tickled seismographs as far away as Tupelo, Mississippi.

By winning, those who participated receive free passes to a special Huntsville premiere prior to the nationwide release of “Dr.… Read the rest

Honest Abe Gets a Makeover

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Get an eyeful of Honest Abe’s makeover.

The new $5 bill, which was unveiled last September, will be issued beginning tomorrow. Among the new and improved features is a large, purple numeral 5 in the lower right corner, which will not only make it harder to counterfeit, but also easier for the visually impaired to see. And given the size of the rapidly-aging baby boomer demographic, that’s a move I heartily endorse.

Five dollar bills–in this era of rising gasoline prices, may we all have more of them.… Read the rest

Senseless Evil

As much as I get worked up over rivalries like Bama v. Auburn and Duke v. UNC, it’s stories like this and this which bring me back down to earth and give me much needed perspective. And with the Virginia Tech and Northern Illinois tragedies still fresh and raw in our minds, the latest news only adds salt to the wounds.

I’m sure the police in Auburn and Chapel Hill are talking extensively about this as the two crimes sound suspiciously similar. Here’s hoping that they are able to find the person or persons responsible for this senseless evil before they strike again.… Read the rest

Vote For David Manes

I hear there’s some kind of big election or something today, but unless you live in Ohio or Texas, you may not get a piece of the action. And since I know you’re dying to pull the lever for somebody, you might as well do it for David Manes.

David is a fellow blogger, Harding man and overall good guy who runs a very good blog called Political Cartel which I read and have linked to for sometime now. In fact, he’s done such a good job that now he’s a finalist for the 2008 Political Blogging Scholarship from College Scholarships.org… Read the rest

Nice Shot, Navy

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Whether you agree with it or not, you have to admit it was a nice shot.

As someone who briefly held the high score on the Space Invaders machine at University Mall in Blacksburg, Virginia in early 1985, my hat’s off to you, Navy. Somewhere, Wernher von Braun is smiling. And I suspect, so are many of my top-secret rocket scientist friends in Huntsville.

Maybe you guys could help Duke find the basket too. Or at least a little earlier in the game anyway.… Read the rest

Senator Obama, It’s Time to Come Clean

It was a crisp, fall evening in October, 2000. My U-10 soccer team, The Blue Vipers, were up against the perennial city champs, the Boys Club Hardrollers. They were a juggernaut–I swear some of their players had stubble and drove themselves to the match. I could go on and on about how they illegally recruited by grabbing up the best players from across the city, but that would make me seem small and petty. After all, it’s only a game, right? Right.

We took it to them, though, and at the half, we were leading 2-1. The lads were a little shocked at their success and so was I.… Read the rest

Anytime Is Tornado Time In The South

It’s only February, but it’s already tornado time in The South. I had a feeling it was going to get rough yesterday when I saw all the signs–overcast skies, sticky humidity and temps in the 70s. There were numerous deaths and much damage in Tennessee and Arkansas last night, and early this morning, the bad weather came calling to North Alabama.

I’ve been awake since about 3:00 AM when the sirens went off. There was no damage here in south Huntsville, but areas north and west of the city were apparently hit hard and there may have been some fatalities.… Read the rest

When Life Imitates Art

The phone rang, per usual, at the start of dinner. Probably just another solicitor, I thought.

But then I saw the caller ID: “Walker, Texas Ranger.” It was a solicitor all right, but it occurred to me that this was one that I had better talk to. Or else.

“Howdy. This is Walker, Texas Ranger. No really, it’s Chuck Norris, just calling to put in a word for my good friend, Mike Huckabee. When you go to the polls on Tuesday, remember, Huck is the only true conservative in the field. So, if you want to protect our country from another Soviet invasion, remember–Vote Mike Huckabee!”… Read the rest

Feeling the Heat

Team Clinton is feeling the heat of Operation Obama Bumper.

Apparently my frequent trips from home to Starbucks to work to Panera Bread to work to Little Rosie’s Taqueria and then back home (with a quick stop at Target to pick up some prescriptions and get a gallon of milk) have found their mark.

Co-President Bill Clinton has been dispatched to Huntsville in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding.

At first, he had plans to attend a $1000 a plate fundraiser at the home of a prominent local attorney. I know where that house is, and I had thought about stopping by yesterday in my “fired up” sedan and taking a picture of The Sticker with the house in the background.… Read the rest