Honest Abe Gets a Makeover

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Get an eyeful of Honest Abe’s makeover.

The new $5 bill, which was unveiled last September, will be issued beginning tomorrow. Among the new and improved features is a large, purple numeral 5 in the lower right corner, which will not only make it harder to counterfeit, but also easier for the visually impaired to see. And given the size of the rapidly-aging baby boomer demographic, that’s a move I heartily endorse.

Five dollar bills–in this era of rising gasoline prices, may we all have more of them.… Read the rest

Wherefore Art Thou Romeo? Because He Has To

Today, Number Three Son is going through the same rite of passage that millions of other schoolboys have over the past few centuries. His 9th grade English class is covering Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” and Number Three gets to dress the part and deliver such choice lines as:

“See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!”

As to “Juliet,” well, that’s a sore point. According to Number Three (who has been known to lay it on thick on occasion), he got stuck with the loudest, largest, and most obnoxious girl in the class, which will make his assignment all the more challenging.… Read the rest

Here’s Your Handy Huntsville Guide

It’s the second Sunday of the month, and The Huntsville Times has published my latest community column entitled, “New to the city? Here’s a handy guide for you newcomers.”

Sigh. You know the drill. Here’s the first paragraph:

We moved to Huntsville 15 years ago this month. Back then, what I really wanted was a reliable newcomer’s guide. There are probably folks migrating to Huntsville from northern Virginia as part of the BRAC move who feel the same way. Maybe some of them will even read this column.

And here’s the rest.

For the uninitiated, BRAC stands for “Defense Base Closure and Realignment Commission.”… Read the rest

Senseless Evil

As much as I get worked up over rivalries like Bama v. Auburn and Duke v. UNC, it’s stories like this and this which bring me back down to earth and give me much needed perspective. And with the Virginia Tech and Northern Illinois tragedies still fresh and raw in our minds, the latest news only adds salt to the wounds.

I’m sure the police in Auburn and Chapel Hill are talking extensively about this as the two crimes sound suspiciously similar. Here’s hoping that they are able to find the person or persons responsible for this senseless evil before they strike again.… Read the rest

15 Years In The Rocket City

src-time-lapse.JPGI’ll be reflecting back on lessons learned over the past 15 years of living in Huntsville in this Sunday’s community column in The Huntsville Times.

We moved here in March 1993, and I’ll admit that it took me some time to get used to the place. We had lived in a “big city” for the previous 7 years (Birmingham and then Nashville), and I often pined for the culture, excitement and choices of a major metropolitan area. But once I settled down and became more rooted in the community, the place sort of started to grow on me. Or maybe I grew into it.… Read the rest

It’s March–Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Devils of Duke!

Now that we have that little business out of the way, on to the main event.

Longtime Fusioneers know I bleed Blue Devil Blue. Those who have been around a shorter time might be wondering what all the fuss is about. Well, you can get up to speed here.

For me, there is something lower brain and purely primeval about Duke v. UNC. Since the early 1970s, I’ve only missed a few of those titan tussles. This year’s regular season finale Saturday night promises another instant classic: ACC regular season title on the line, Senior Night at Cameron with DeMarcus Nelson playing his last home game, UNC ranked #1, Henderson and Psycho T Hansbrough eyeing each other warily during warm ups, the Cameron Crazies in a deep blue frenzy, Roy Williams and Coach K commanding their troops.… Read the rest

Freudian Slips

I first heard about it from Eyegal who heard about it from the parent of a Harding student (who, ironically, was named “Regina”) who heard about it from the student himself who apparently witnessed the incident live.

Heh, that’s funny, I thought. And then: I wonder if it’s on youtube?

Yup, it sure is.

Freudian slips + digital cameras + youtube = worldwide embarrassment.

Chapel announcements have rarely been so interesting.

Fortunately, Dr. Burks is a decent guy who doesn’t mind poking fun at himself. I would have probably run screaming from the stage.

… Read the rest

Playing Dead

Sometimes I feel a little dead at the end of the day, but I’ve never had the opportunity to become a middle-aged cadaver.

But my friend and outdoor adventurer Ed has.

Be sure to read his delightful story on his recent time spent “playing the stiff” for a team of training Search and Rescue Dogs (SAR K9) at the 2008 Airscent Seminar near Rogersville, Alabama.

And Ed, glad to have you back in the land of the living. Jake must give pretty good spit baths. Or was it the nose bite that did the trick?

… Read the rest

Vote For David Manes

I hear there’s some kind of big election or something today, but unless you live in Ohio or Texas, you may not get a piece of the action. And since I know you’re dying to pull the lever for somebody, you might as well do it for David Manes.

David is a fellow blogger, Harding man and overall good guy who runs a very good blog called Political Cartel which I read and have linked to for sometime now. In fact, he’s done such a good job that now he’s a finalist for the 2008 Political Blogging Scholarship from College Scholarships.org… Read the rest

What I Learned In Atlanta

I just returned from five days in Atlanta attending the Southern Educational Congress in Optometry (SECO), one of the largest optometry meetings in the world. It had been a while since I had attended so large a conference, and I discovered that I had some catching up to do. Since most of you weren’t able to go too, I decided I would share a few things that I learned:

  • Be careful if you use a hotel elliptical trainer. If the “glide” track is angled differently from the one you use at home, it can ball up your calves into knots making it extremely difficult to walk for the rest of your stay.
… Read the rest

One Saturday, Two Different Shirts

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On most Saturdays during college basketball season, I can be found beside by TV set wearing my Duke Blue Devil shirt and hat. Yeah, I know it’s silly, but I’m firmly convinced they can’t win without me. You see, Coach K is really channeling for me during those time outs when he lays down the law and the Blue Devils return to the floor guns a’blazing.

Until recently, I’d never had cause on game day to don my circa 1980s gray Harding sweatshirt with the frayed, black and gold stitched letters. But last Saturday I had the opportunity to wear two different shirts on the same day as the Harding Bisons defeated longtime rival Henderson State 72-59 before a packed Rhodes Fieldhouse and a national audience on CSTV.… Read the rest

The 12th Man

Number One Son road-tripped to Auburn this past weekend to visit with some friends and to watch the Bama v. Auburn basketball game. The visit with friends went well. The game? Not so much.

On Sunday, Number One was driving to church when he stopped at an intersection with a crosswalk. He looked both ways, halfway expecting a herd of cattle to come ambling by. Instead, a lone figure in a ill-fitting, cheap suit walked down the sidewalk to his right and into the intersection.

Number One stayed stopped like he was supposed to. He gazed down to fiddle with something in the car, and when he looked back up, the man in the suit was directly in front of him and staring straight at him.… Read the rest

Bad Number

Okay, so I’ve written my March column for The Huntsville Times, and I do a word count and find out that I’m pushing the maximum limit of 680 words.

No problem. I relentlessly self-edit (a skill that all of you–some more than others–should practice each and every day), and I whittle it down. I redo the word count. I stare in horror:

666.

I’m thinking: better add a few words.… Read the rest

Which is Better, #1 or #2?

Well, I guess we’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?

Predictions anyone?

BTW, I like Memphis HC John Calipari more and more. He helped defuse a pretty tense situation last weekend at UAB when he gave their students the benefit of the doubt after a controversial ending. Very classy. Speaking of which, he dresses to the nines too. Kinda the opposite of Rick Pitino, who looked like Colonel Sanders (or would that be John Travolta?) in that white suit. Calipari is always good for some choice soundbites and gives a great interview. He makes me laugh till I cry–which is a good thing.… Read the rest