Looks Like We Have A Winner
And it’s not the “Yoots.”
More Like Little Bighorn
“This is a hard loss. It lets us know we can’t underestimate anybody, and we’ve got to play to our full potential. We didn’t come out and play like we’re supposed to.”
–Terrence Cody
Well, there you have it. Not only is our man Mt. Cody able to squash you like a bug, he’s a rocket scientist to boot.
Duh. I’m sure that was part of St. Nick’s game plan—go out there, and whatever you do, underestimate your opponent.
After weeks of denying that they weren’t underestimating the Utes, Bama went out and did just that. Then after the game player after player stepped up to the microphone and confessed to the media that they did exactly the thing that they said they weren’t going to do.… Read the rest
Polygamists Do It Better and More Frequently
Okay, I do have to tell this one good N’awlins story, bad game notwithstanding.
Number One Son was standing on the balcony of the Homewood Suites in downtown NOLA on New Year’s Eve carrying on a running cheer with Bama fans on other balconies and on the sidewalk below.
When they started up the “It’s great. To be. From Aaalabama…” chant, a Utah fan in the next room heard the commotion, came out on his balcony, grinned at Number One and started to scream, “It’s great. To Have. Tweeeelve wives…”
Good times. Not to be nullified in the least by a team which apparently left their best stuff in Atlanta and didn’t show up ready to play.… Read the rest
It Won’t Be Easy in The Big Easy
Finally, after a week in which Outland Trophy winner and our Biggest Ugly of them all, Andre Smith, was suspended for contact with a sports agent and key assistants gazed longingly at greener, more cash-filled pastures (and yes, it looks like Bama DC Kevin Steele is off to Clemson), we get to play a football game tonight.
Bama is a 9-point favorite against the Utah Utes in tonight’s Sugar Bowl. Sure, the Tide would much rather be playing a higher profile team like Texas or Ohio State, but they know the Utes have a mid-major-sized chip on their shoulders and will be bringing it hard.… Read the rest
Revisiting “The Song That Nobody Knows”
Okay, people, I know you want it, so here it is.
Every year around this time, many the world over Google their way here in quest of the spelling and pronunciation of the lyrics to “The Song That Nobody Knows.”
Hint: It’s not “Old Ang’s Eye.” Although that would be kind of cool.
A blessed 2009 to all.
Revisting Those Top Ten 2008 Anti-Resolutions
Well, it’s the last day of 2008; tis the season for end-of-the-year reviews. Remember those Top Ten Anti-Resolutions that I made back on January 1st? Maybe we ought to check in and see how much regress I made in doing those things “that I know, absolutely without a doubt, I will never, ever do this year…”
1) Serve on another committee. No problemo, 100% failure on this one. That Machiavellian committee experience back in 2007 got that little itch out of my system for decades to come. I fastidiously avoided large rooms with conference tables and PowerPoint projectors or any situation where more than 2-3 people were gathered together gesticulating madly while arguing over petty politics and personal agendas.… Read the rest
Epidemic Ocularis Hyperlacrimus
If you and your family are casting about looking for something to do this holiday season, take them to see the movie “Marley and Me”–it’s a good old-fashioned emotional flogging they’ll never forget.
Owen Wilson is surprisingly sober, Alan Arkin is a cuddly curmudgeon, Kathleen Turner is downright scary and Jennifer Anniston shows off more range of emotion than skin for once. And Marley (well, Marleys since 22 different yellow labs were used in the film) is a charming rascal of a mutt.
Warning: It may be inappropriate for a large majority of pre-tweeners due to the emotional intensity.… Read the rest
A “Thin Place”–Right Hand Side, Two Thirds Of The Way Back
“Our pew” is on the right hand side, two thirds of the way back. That’s where we always sit when we attend Christmas Eve services at our second church home, Episcopal Church of the Nativity in Huntsville. I’ve written of our experiences there before, and as longtime readers know, that’s our refuge where we occasionally go in order to escape the tyranny of the modern (e.g. PowerPoint!) and surrender instead to the power and holy mysteries of the liturgy.
Picture in your mind the quintessential Christmas Eve setting: an old, storied building topped with a 150 foot Gothic Revival spire reaching toward the heavens, the nave bathed in soft candle light and bedecked with festive, seasonal greenery, a 12-foot Christmas tree near the front, beckoning with a thousand starry lights.… Read the rest
An Update on My Hypothetical Facebook Update
Actually, it’s no longer hypothetical. I now have an authentic Facebook update and this is what it says:
“Michael is now ‘friends’ with Number One and Number Two Sons (they took it like men). Number Three still doesn’t know. Heh.”
I am now fully assimilated into the collective hive. Resistance was futile.
My Facebook Status Update (If I Had One)
My Facebook status update (if I had one) would probably read something like this:
“Mike is really digging ‘Straight No Chaser’ right now.”
Not the drink (although my father-in-law, bless his heart, did slip me a little shot of whiskey last night after I threw out my back pulling down the stairs to the attic), but the a cappella music group which is all the rage after their Youtube video spoof of “Twelve Days of Christmas” recorded 10 years ago when they were all in college at Indiana University (Hoosiers do music?) went hog-viral last year about this time.
That led to a group reunion, a recording contract with Atlantic Records and a new Christmas album “Holiday Spirits” which I downloaded from Amazon Saturday and, as my hypothetical Facebook status says, am “really digging.”… Read the rest
Ancient Fire, Forever Sacred
My first patient was already in the chair at around 8:05 yesterday morning when an electronic sensor at the Monroe Street substation near the downtown library detected a problem with the transformer and proceeded to shut down the power to approximately 20,000 customers, from Monte Sano Mountain in the east, to Research Park in the west and south to Airport Road.
But I didn’t know that at the time. When the power shut down, I’d been microwaving my morning vitamin drink, a staple during the winter months when I’m daily assaulted by the medical dictionary’s worth of viruses that my patients exhale into the office air.… Read the rest
My Kind of Ink
As a licensed eye care professional, and moreover one who is interested in maintaining said license until such time that I retire and/or write my first multimillion dollar bestseller, I cannot say that I wholly endorse this particular Eye-dea.
Still, the thought of www.ocularfusion.net appearing on average every 5 seconds whilst tatted across the superior eyelid folds of an army of Fusioneers does bring a smile to my face.… Read the rest
Membership Has Its “Privileges”
If you’re among the (*cough*) “elite corps” (aka “The Fusioneers”) that has registered here, you received an email this morning containing a sneak preview of a new blog that I’m rolling out.
It contains the community columns that I wrote this past year for The Huntsville Times, not to mention a “bonus track” from the early years.
Oh, and a few other tidbits, such as a picture of me (kudos to Number One Son for his mad photography and computer animation skillz) and my real name (like it’s so tough to figure out).
You see! Membership really does have its “privileges.”… Read the rest
A Very Special “Kitchen Sink Christmas”
I broke through the Marvin-induced writer’s block last week and managed to turn in my last Huntsville Times community column before the deadline.
It wasn’t easy, though. But I just sat down and forced myself to brainstorm through the dusty annals of Christmases past for that just-perfect Yuletide memory to share in what I envision as a sort of coup de grace of a grand finale.
Come Sunday, check back here and watch me wrap up paganism, death, evolution, guns, whoopee-makin’, spittin’, a balding, 40-year-old man armed with a pitch pipe and an attitude, a Bible-bangin’, red-faced Church Lady (think Dana Carvey in SNL), the, ahem, “fruit of the vine” and a “par-tri-udge, in-uh, pear-treeee” into a neat package and top it off with a big red bow.… Read the rest