*Beep*…Dear Dr. P., I Won’t Be Coming Today
I suddenly realized a few minutes ago that I have an appointment to get my teeth cleaned at noon today. Long time readers may recall how I feel about that.
I’m really (ahem) “way too busy” to make that one this time, so I called and left the following message:
… Read the restHey, Cindy (the receptionist), it’s Mike the Eyeguy. Look, you know how much I value good dental hygiene, probably as much as the next guy, but I was looking at my teeth last night, and really, the coffee stains aren’t that bad (sort of a light beige rather than the usual dark brown) and they’re only a few pieces of the previous six months’ meals stuck in the crevices, so really, I’m in pretty good shape.

Somewhere James Naismith and Phog Allen are smiling.
For those of you who may have been wrong-footed by 

