Category: Blogging

I’ve Been Booked

(Sigh) As if I didn’t have enough to write about already…

Just like 7th grade, I’ve been tagged by Jason the Youth Minister, this time for my take on the following book categories:

1. One book that changed your life: C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity–nothing else comes close. It’s the main reason that I remained a Christian through a period of very intense doubt. Kudos to the Harding University Bookstore for daring to carry the work of a pipe smoking, ale-quaffing Anglican literature professor who wouldn’t have been welcome as a student or professor at that fine, teetotalling institution of higher learning.… Read the rest

The Assimilation Continues

borg-18527.jpgIt’s been an eventful week here at Ocular Fusion. First, I was graced with a visit by the Winged Goddess of Victory herself (I think we all know her name, don’t we?). Then I was the victim of a vicious attack of flying spam, necessitating the installation of the new and improved, all purpose, Super-Duper Askimet Anti-Spam Shield and Bug Zapper (so far, 70 pieces of fried spam in 48 hrs).

But, no matter what I do, the assimilation continues.

Here’s my latest VIP visitor:… Read the rest

From Swoosh to Spam in No Time Flat

1559606_340_1116081430036-spam.jpgI thought that “getting Swooshed” would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Visions of free running shoes, endorsement contracts, commercials and billboards were dancing like Oregon Waffles in my middle-age, ever-balding head.

Instead, I went from Swoosh to spam in no time flat.

It all started when those pesky and creepy little search bot worm thingies started crawling all over my site a few days ago. Both Google and Yahoo (Inktomisearch.com) stop by at least daily, Yahoo sometimes more often. The result was a coordinated spam attack between 10:15 and 10:50 A.M. yesterday which launched eight cash-seeking missles that landed in the comment section of my various Nike posts.… Read the rest

I’ve Been Swooshed

In mob circles, it’s known as becoming a “Made man.” You’ve shown loyalty to the family through the years, doing all the dirty deeds you’ve been asked to do. Finally, after paying your dues, somebody notices. Suddenly, your suits get silkier, your shoes shinier, you receive VIP treatment at the dry cleaners and get the best seats at all the good restaurants with no reservations. Usually “being made” is the pinnacle of a mobster’s career–unless you’re Joe Pesci’s character Tommy DeVito in the movie Goodfellas.

Now I’m no mafioso, but I am a shoe nerd. And we have our day too, you know.… Read the rest

Dear NPR–Look No Further, I’m Your Man!

radio_microphone.jpgDear Anonymous National Public Radio (NPR) employee,

Thank you for stopping by Ocular Fusion at 1:49:04 PM on Thursday, June 1, 2006. I noticed that you didn’t reach my blog via a referring link such as a search engine or another blog. That probably means that you either had my site bookmarked or perhaps emailed to you by one of the many talent scouts whom you’ve no doubt commissioned to scour the highways, byways and backwoods of America for fresh, emerging commentators and writers such as yours truly.

I’ll try to overlook the fact that you didn’t browse through any of my posts and that my stat counter indicated that you stayed approximately “0 seconds” before moving on.… Read the rest

Thinking Like a Child, Clanging Like a Cymbal

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”–I Corinthians 12:11

Or at least that’s the way it’s supposed to work.

In my series “Blogging–The Wonder Years” which will resume later this week, it’s been pretty apparent from my 7th grade journal that my thought processes have undergone a little evolution since the 1970s. I fancy myself a more grown-up thinker these days. But the truth is I’m still a work-in-progress, and if God grants more time, I’ll probably look back in twenty years and have a good laugh at some of my early 21st century pontifications and ponderings.… Read the rest

Search Me!

pat down.jpgI’m really not begging for a pat-down or anything like that. It’s just that folks who Googled a topic like “Huntsville High prank” or “Nancy Grace and Churches of Christ” are being caught up in the “rapture” and transported from my old site to Ocular Fusion 2.0.

If you’re one of those chosen ones, then rest assured that the article that you’re looking for is here. You can always use the “Search” function located at the bottom of the sidebar if need be, or just click the links above.

I’ve noticed that many are coming here looking for pictures of the Northwestern University women’s soccer team’s hazing party.… Read the rest

Ocular Fusion 2.0–I’ll Be Watching You

the-all-seeing-eye_1_-217x240.jpgWhoa, what just happened you ask? Through the magic of a small piece of HTML-code strategically placed in my old site, you’ve been caught up and whisked away to Ocular Fusion 2.0 (www.ocularfusion.net). Talk about your raptures. Or would that be an alien abduction?

Anyway, now that you’re here stick around and, as we say in the South, “sit a spell.” I’ve still got some tweaking to do, but the bulk of the renovation is complete. Unlike my desk at work, the new site is clean, uncluttered and easy to navigate. No more depressing black either. I’ve decided (with fashion imput from my color consultant Scott) that brighter and cheerier colors are in order, the better to reflect my, uh, sanguine personality.… Read the rest

Blogging–The Wonder Years, Chapter V

Speaking of Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr. (aka John Denver), in 1974 he was one of my favorite musical artists, along with Elton John, Steely Dan, The Eagles and Bachman Turner Overdrive (BTO). I was pretty eclectic, even though I had no idea at the time what that word meant. All I knew was that I liked it loud–“Annie’s Song” was simply not the same unless it was belted out at the top of one’s lungs with the radio volume button turned all the way to the right.

Hence the problem. This was long before the advent of “personal listening devices” such as iPods, back in the stone-age when LP stereos were located in common areas and a set of headphones was a rare luxury.… Read the rest

Blogging–The (Bleep) Wonder Years, Chapter IV

In 1972, comedian George Carlin released the monologue, Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television on his album Class Clown. In 1973, some of those words even made it onto the radio airwaves when WBAI-FM broadcast, uncensored, another Carlin monologue containing the same profanity.

My parents wouldn’t even let me watch M*A*S*H or All in the Family much less listen to Carlin, but that never stopped a preteen who was determined to hear what all the fuss was about. The problem was I had the kind of mother who always had the uncanny knack of knowing when my Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition was going to arrive and intercepting it before I could get home from school, so coming by critical information in those days wasn’t easy.… Read the rest

Blogging–The Wonder Years, Chapter III

They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin’ great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live
–from Randy Newman’s “Short People”

If you’ve spent any time at all reading Ocular Fusion, you’re no doubt aware of my enduring love for basketball. If you were to go further and scan the pages of my elementary school scrapbook, you would find that I listed basketball as my “favorite activity” from second grade through seventh (there was that little “tag” business in first grade, but that hardly counts).… Read the rest

The Great American Blog

Continuing my theme of the potential pitfalls of blogging, I wanted to point out this interesting article by Sarah Hepola which recently appeared in Slate. Like many, she envisioned blogging as a means of ramping up to “The Great American Novel,” an avenue down which she could stroll as book and movie agents stopped and turned their heads, marveling at the passing of her literary glory. In her reverie, she would soon be besieged with admirers, most of them toting contracts for six figure, two book deals, and of course, the inevitable DreamWorks movie.

To hear Ms. Hepola tell it (in fact, you can hear her here.… Read the rest