I’ve Been Swooshed

In mob circles, it’s known as becoming a “Made man.” You’ve shown loyalty to the family through the years, doing all the dirty deeds you’ve been asked to do. Finally, after paying your dues, somebody notices. Suddenly, your suits get silkier, your shoes shinier, you receive VIP treatment at the dry cleaners and get the best seats at all the good restaurants with no reservations. Usually “being made” is the pinnacle of a mobster’s career–unless you’re Joe Pesci’s character Tommy DeVito in the movie Goodfellas.

Now I’m no mafioso, but I am a shoe nerd. And we have our day too, you know. Saturday was just such a day; the athletic footwear equivalent of “being made.” No, scratch that like a bad case of athlete’s foot. This was even better.

I’ve been Swooshed.

If you don’t believe me, check out these these visitor stats from Saturday:


Referring Link http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=pre lives

Host Name barrierc241.nike.com

Entry Page Time 12 August 2006 14:30:23

Country United States

Region Oregon

City Beaverton

ISP Nike Incorporated

If you can’t figure out what this means, let me spell it out for you. Nike, “The Winged225px-Nike-Logo-Orange.svg.png Goddess of Victory,” has flown down from her lofty perch to visit her loyal and faithful servant. All I did was type two of the most sacred words in the Nike liturgy- “Pre Lives” -and publish them on my blog. Quicker than you can say “Just Do It,” she immediately flew to my side and bestowed on me her wing of approval.

Of course, Nike has no doubt been aware of my presence for a long time. She’s had her eye on me over the years, from my first pair of Nike Waffle Trainers, through the short and meaningless flings with Adidas and New Balance, and on to my middle years and my return to the shoes of my youth–my first love. She probably smiled in approval at my recent riffing on the Nike Cortez, Oregon Waffle, and Prefontaine. Now, after years of faithful shilling and monetary sacrifice, Nike has heard my humble supplications and is finally considering my proposals for an endorsement contract and ad campaign (here and here).

Of course, there’s always an outside chance that it was actually one of Nike’s corporate attorneys who paid me a visit and that now I’m on their hit list for unauthorized use of corporate names and logos. If so, then I hope I don’t end up like Tommy DeVito. But until I hear otherwise, I prefer to keep looking on the upside of things.

First a visitation by NPR, now one from Our Lady of Perpetual Branding. Where will all this lead? Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m smelling career change here. Stay tuned for further developments. If you open up my blog soon and see I’ve changed my nom de plume to “Nike the Eyeguy,” then you’ll know things are going very well indeed.

  1. Mark elrod

    I got linked to the Truck Driving Academy after I posted a story about my dad being a driver. I think they must send out some kind of search worm looking for tags on various blog posts.

    Or they are grooming you for corporate sponsorhip. Is there a Nike-brand of eyewear?

    Don’t settle for just a pair of shoes if they offer you one; you can do better than that.

  2. Mike the Eyeguy

    Ok, you’re not going to believe this. Or maybe you will.

    I wear Nike eyeglasses. Seriously.

    To see my frame click here.

    Congrats on the Truck Driving Academy link. I think those little search bot worms are crawling over everybody.

  3. brady

    Are you sure you’re just not fronting for some large multinational, trying to influence our shoe-buying habits?

    I looked at high-end running shoes this weekend but found nothing in my size and price range. If they’d had the Asics Nimbus in size 11, they would have had a buyer. Sweet shoes.

  4. Mike the Eyeguy

    Ah, Brady, that’s good; just the kind of paranoia that I’m trying to stir up around here. Now all we need is for Bill Gnade to come along and read this, and the conspiracy theories will really be off and running, so to speak.

    You may know this already, but Asics and Nike evolved from a common ancestor. In the late 60s, Nike patron saint Bill Bowerman worked for a Japanese shoe company named Onitsuka and designed a shoe that you probably remember–the Tiger Corsair.

    In 1972, Bowerman founded Nike with Phil Knight and parted ways with Onitsuka (who went on to be known as Asics). Using the Tiger Corsair as his model, Bowerman then designed the Nike Cortez.

    So you see, whether you go with Asics or Nike, when you get right down to it, we’re all one big, happy family.

    Now, stand by and prepare to be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

  5. Donna

    We are not worthy to comment on your blog…..

    I am wearing my Nike outfit complete with visor tonight….but I will have on my Adidas tennis shoes, and Nike don’t make a racket…..

  6. Mike the Eyeguy


    Here’s a dirty little secret: when I coach soccer, I wear Adidas cleats. So, I understand that mixing brands is sometimes a regrettable necessity.

    Sshhhh. Don’t say “Adidas” too loudly–She may hear you.

  7. Seattlesoccermom

    Congratulation. You have arrived.

    Alternate translation: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

  8. Mike the Eyeguy

    Have been assimilated, from head to toe.

  9. hooteewho

    You have one of the best blogs on the net.

    My Nike slip ons are oh so comfy…swoosh!

  10. Mike the Eyeguy

    Thanks, you are much too kind.

    “Swoosh”–Et tu, Hoots?

  11. Donna

    Hey I won big time in my mixed outfit!!!

    Nike Rules!!!

    Adidas just carried me from point to point.

  12. Mike the Eyeguy

    You wore a mixed outfit, and there wasn’t a sudden rift in the space-time continuum?


  13. DAVID u

    One word…………PUMA! 🙂


  14. Mike the Eyeguy

    What blasphemy! What sacrilege!

    You’d best be careful, DU. I don’t know if Nike carries a weapon or not, but she is good friends with Zeus.

  15. Nancy

    Awesome, Eyeguy! This is such a big day. I just hope you’ll remember the little people when you’re Nike, the Eyeguy.


  16. Mike the Eyeguy

    Thanks, Nancy. It’s the little people that helped get me to this point. How could I forget them? Free shoes for everybody!

Comments are closed.