Category: Culture

My Favorite Barneyisms

There are many who are weighing in on the passing of Don Knotts, American funnyman whose iconic character of small-town deputy Barney Fife memorialized the earnest efforts of all downtrodden, skinny, bug-eyed low men on the totem pole everywhere who have ever longed to make a difference and be taken seriously.

And of course, many are waxing eloquently, much better than I ever could. Some good tributes can be found here and here. I thought my humble contribution to the cause would be to list some of my favorite “Barneyisms.” I just hope I can get through these without having to take a hit off my asthma inhaler:… Read the rest

See Ralph Run. Run, Ralph, Run!

Faith, purity and prayer. According to Catholic theology, these are the ingredients needed in order to perform a miracle. Unfortunately, Ralph Walker, a 14-year-old hormone-driven parochial school student, has, just in the previous week alone, taken the Lord’s name in vain 211 times, had 22 impure thoughts (along with 22 sins of the flesh), and contemplated murder. For him, faith, purity and prayer are about as rare as rosary beeds and Hail Marys at a fundamentalist tent revival.

Hamilton, Ontario is the setting for the warm and quirky running movie, “Saint Ralph,” recently released on DVD. The year is 1953 in a time when the pre-Vatican II Catholic Church loomed large in the lives of many North Americans, defining and controlling nearly every aspect of their existence.… Read the rest

Hanging Out in American Babylon

Since my entry into the blogosphere a few months ago, I’ve noticed quite a few Christians, especially seminary students, who seem to struggle with the idea of “dual citizenship”–i.e., balancing their identity as both Americans and Christians. As they react to what they see as a too close alliance between the cross and the flag among those on the Christian Right, their tendency is to resort to Platonic dualism and “either/or” solutions. In other words, choose whom you will serve, cross or flag, but never both.… Read the rest

Alabama 6, Harvard 2

Most people would pick the Alabama Crimson Tide over the Harvard Crimson in a football game without giving it a second thought. But how many would ever think that the Tide would top Harvard in a battle of brains?

Well, surprise, the USA TODAY’S 2006 All-USA College Academic Team was announced this week and the final score was Alabama 6, Harvard 2. Alabama has placed more students on the team than any other school in the nation three out of the past four years and over that period of time has produced a total of 20 honorees, a figure which also leads all schools.… Read the rest

Basketball and Bobsleds

The “J.J. Meter” has been humming as of late. In last night’s 93-70 win over Wake Forest, Duke’s J.J. Redick scored 33 points (his fourth 30 plus game in a row, a Duke record) and went 4 for 7 from beyond the arc to pass former UVa player Curtis Staples’ 413 career treys and become the new NCAA career 3 point marksman. Redick is currently second on the Duke career points list behind his assistant coach Johnny Dawkins and fourth on the ACC list. He now trails all-time leading ACC career scorer Dickie Hemric by 60 points with 5 games remaining in the regular season.… Read the rest

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

I’m always amused by the search strings that lead some to land on Ocular Fusion. There have been some post-worthy ones in the past, but this one takes the cake. Both yesterday and this morning, several visitors Googled “school closings for the blizzard of 06,” and when they followed the link of the #1 hit, lo and behold, they landed here!

In what can only be described as a cruel and ironic twist of fate, apparently there have been several of my fellow citizens who are seeking critical survival information in the blizzard-bound Northeast and have landed on my site only to get some Alabama hayseed prattling on about bread and milk runs at the local grocery store.… Read the rest

What’s On Your Window?

Although you wouldn’t know it from the amount of time I’ve spent recently blogging about my beloved Duke Blue Devils, I actually love soccer as much, if not more, than college hoops. I’m sure you’ll be reading some of my thoughts and observations about real football as I follow my sons’ soccer teams this spring and also as the FIFA World Cup approaches this summer.

I’m also an unabashed, card-carrying “eyeguy.” So imagine my delight when I recently discovered that I could combine two of the great passions in my life and enjoy them simultaneously–sort of like a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup or an Oreo cookie .… Read the rest

The Great Blizzard of ’06

As you can see from the picture of my street taken just a few minutes ago, things are pretty rough in Huntsville this morning. The Great Blizzard of ’06 which we all feared is upon us. Things are shut down pretty tight–good thing I was able to beat off that little 80-year-old lady for that last loaf of bread at Target yesterday. As for the 5-year-old boy whom I tackled for that gallon of milk, well, life is tough and hardly fair and he might as well learn it sooner rather than later.

Since I am considered “necessary personnel,” I will attempt the treacherous drive to work through this blinding blizzard–just hope I don’t suffer from “white-out.”… Read the rest

You Don’t Mess Around with Oprah

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape,
you don’t spit into the wind.
You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger,
and you don’t mess around with…Oprah, da do da do…

Ok, I admit that’s not how the song really goes. But if you happened to catch the Oprah Winfrey show on Thursday (I did not, mind you) and saw “A Million Little Pieces”author James Frey face an angry Oprah and a studio audience consisting of mostly p.o.’ed post-menopausal women, you may have caught yourself singing it this way.… Read the rest

“The Book of Daniel” 1/6/06-1/24/06–R.I.P.


“…take a deep breath, relax and vote with your remote rather than play the protest game. Do that, and “The Book of Daniel” and its desperate priest will be dead on the vine within the month.”

I wrote those words on January 7th. Not that I’m a prophet or anything (who, after all, didn’t see this coming?), but just remember, I told ya so!

If you haven’t heard, NBC has pulled the plug on the desperately lacking and controversial show “The Book of Daniel” after only four episodes. The folks at Focus on the Family and the American Family Association are already taking credit for forcing the network’s hand on this, and others are whining and complaining about all those drunk-on-religion Red State right-wing nut cases who have struck once again and spoiled everyone’s fun.… Read the rest

“Glory Road”–A Little Too Glorified?

While we’re on the subject of “teetering on the edge of falsehood,” I thought I would point out George Will’s latest column in which he critiques the recently released film “Glory Road.” The film relates the story of Coach Don Haskins and his five black starters on the Texas Western basketball team and their victory over the all-white, Adolph Rupp-coached Kentucky Wildcats in the 1966 NCAA Final. Will takes issue with the impression left by the movie that the Texas Western team was the first to feature black players and that the game with Kentucky was a classic “David and Goliath” confrontation (Texas Western was 27-1 and ranked third in the nation going into the final game).… Read the rest

Teetering on the Edge of Falsehood

Probably by now most of you have heard about the controversy surrounding James Frey’s number one bestseller, “A Million Little Pieces.” It turns out that Mr. Frey’s book, purported to be a memoir detailing his colorful drug and alcohol-addicted past, has been exposed by The Smoking Gun as being more fiction than fact.

Oprah Winfrey, who featured the book in her Book Club and conducted an emotional interview with Frey on her show, has come to his defense. Calling in while Frey was being interviewed by Larry King, Oprah said fabrications notwithstanding that the story still “resonates” with her and her legions of fans.… Read the rest

Hey Nike, I’m Your Man!

You may not walk on water with the latest and greatest Nike running shoe, but you will be running on a cushion of pure, 100% air. But if you want a pair of the new Nike Air Max 360s set to debut this week, be prepared for some sticker shock–at $160 per pair, pure air doesn’t come cheap.

According to a Nike researcher who developed the shoe, “This is about trying to get people to run faster, better and longer and about minimizing the risk of injuries.” That sounds good to me, because as I have pointed out before, fast is good.… Read the rest

A Word Fitly Spoken

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

Huntsville resident and author Homer Hickam, Jr. (Rocket Boys, The Coalwood Way) spoke yesterday at the public memorial for the West Virginia coal miners killed in the recent explosion at the Sago Mine. His words “fitly spoken” will no doubt be cherished in the years to come by the family and friends of the fallen miners. The following is an excerpt:

“There are no better men than coal miners. The American economy rests on the back of our coal miners. We could not prosper without them.”

… Read the rest

Desperate Priests–An Update

The fallout over The Book of Daniel continues over at NBC. After a week of tepid reviews and further protests, the show appears destined for that place where bad TV shows go to die–the trashbin. As I pointed out last week, I can handle a little “edge” if it’s for a good cause. But in my opinion (and that of some secular critics as well), the show is a flop both artistically and morally and I felt that even without the firestorm of protest ignited by the American Family Association that it would probably die on the vine anyway.

Despite the fact even more affiliates are choosing not to air the controversial show, NBC recently issued the following statement:

“The Book of Daniel is a quality fictional drama about an Episcopalian priest’s family and the contemporary issues with which they must grapple.

… Read the rest