Category: Alabama Crimson Tide

It Won’t Be Easy in The Big Easy

allstatesb.jpgFinally, after a week in which Outland Trophy winner and our Biggest Ugly of them all, Andre Smith, was suspended for contact with a sports agent and key assistants gazed longingly at greener, more cash-filled pastures (and yes, it looks like Bama DC Kevin Steele is off to Clemson), we get to play a football game tonight.

Bama is a 9-point favorite against the Utah Utes in tonight’s Sugar Bowl. Sure, the Tide would much rather be playing a higher profile team like Texas or Ohio State, but they know the Utes have a mid-major-sized chip on their shoulders and will be bringing it hard.… Read the rest

Revisting Those Top Ten 2008 Anti-Resolutions

Well, it’s the last day of 2008; tis the season for end-of-the-year reviews. Remember those Top Ten Anti-Resolutions that I made back on January 1st? Maybe we ought to check in and see how much regress I made in doing those things “that I know, absolutely without a doubt, I will never, ever do this year…”

1) Serve on another committee. No problemo, 100% failure on this one. That Machiavellian committee experience back in 2007 got that little itch out of my system for decades to come. I fastidiously avoided large rooms with conference tables and PowerPoint projectors or any situation where more than 2-3 people were gathered together gesticulating madly while arguing over petty politics and personal agendas.… Read the rest

Membership Has Its “Privileges”

members-only-logojacket-111507-2.jpgIf you’re among the (*cough*) “elite corps” (aka “The Fusioneers”) that has registered here, you received an email this morning containing a sneak preview of a new blog that I’m rolling out.

It contains the community columns that I wrote this past year for The Huntsville Times, not to mention a “bonus track” from the early years.

Oh, and a few other tidbits, such as a picture of me (kudos to Number One Son for his mad photography and computer animation skillz) and my real name (like it’s so tough to figure out).

You see! Membership really does have its “privileges.”… Read the rest

‘Grats Gators

Wow, a “Game of The Year” that finally lived up to its billing. ‘Grats to the Gators for beating us straight up, fair and square.

We’re still a year or two away from having the full compliment of personnel to be able to beat a team that deep and talented, not to mention a once-in-a-generation player like Tebow.

Disappointing, yes, but the Crimson Nation is very proud of this team and what they’ve accomplished this year and the way they played today. Still, two Bama mistakes led to two Gator scores–remember what I said about having to play a perfect game?… Read the rest

Tommy, This Is Going To Hurt Me A Lot More Than It Will You, A’ight?

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…34, 35, 36…and one to grow on!

Kinda creepy, huh?

You know I’m just kidding, right?

You know, I know, heck, we all know that Tommy Tuberville’s sudden “resignation” this week had absolutely nothing to do with the “Beatdown in T-town” Saturday, right? Right?

If not Nick Satan, then maybe it was Karma…

I know I’ve gone on and on about the whole “finger thing,” but the fact is, after 6 straight wins you have to expect that. This is the SEC, not the ACC, for Pete’s sake. When it comes to football, one expects the knife to be twisted in the small of the back under such circumstances.… Read the rest

Iron Bowl Day in Southwest Virginia

It’s Iron Bowl day in Southwest Virginia, and I feel like I’m in a foreign country.

It’s a long way from Tuscaloosa, but I talked with Number One Son a few moments ago and he’s there, primed and ready. He promised me that he will have no voice at the end of this game and that regardless of what happens, he will probably cry.

Here’s to tears of joy.

My heart stopped this morning when I looked at the TV listings in the sports page of The Roanoke Times and saw the Houston v. Rice game listed on CBS instead of the Iron Bowl.… Read the rest

Dickie V.–You’re Out of Your Depth, Dude

vitalecinderella31-1.jpgTo date, I haven’t jumped on board the “Dump Dickie V.” bandwagon. Yes, unlike fine wine, he has grown worse with age. His clownish antics have grown stale, absolutely.

But I’ve always regarded him like that buffoonish, annoyingly loud, but relatively harmless, uncle at the holiday family gathering who just won’t shut up already with the lame jokes and tall tales but still slips the little kids a piece of candy from his pocket because underneath it all he’s a decent guy with a good heart.

Until now.

Here’s Dickie V. talking about football, of all things, during last night’s Kentucky v.… Read the rest

An Abnormal November

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Usually at this time of year, I have no problem tapping my usual sources for a couple of Tide football tickets. November hasn’t been very kind to Bama the past few years, so there’s always been someone anxious to unload them.

This year, not so much. My sources have dried up like an Alabama creek bed in the heat of August. Go figure.

Number One has tickets to the next two regular season games against Mississippi State and Auburn, but he’s had a tough time trying to get the hottest ticket of all, the SEC Championship Game against Florida in Atlanta on December 6.… Read the rest

Just Another Saturday Night In Lower Alabama

There’s a football game, people get drunk, somebody wins, somebody loses, words follow, then shoves and fists, and finally somebody gets shot.

… Read the rest

Nick Saban Is No Atheist, A’ight?

Yet, for some reason many people think he is. Just Google the phrase “Is Nick Saban an atheist?” and see what site you get. Go ahead, try it.

I first noticed this back around the time he was hired, and even today I get about 15-20 people a month who come to Ocular Fusion that way. Wierd. I mean all you have to do is go to Nick’s MySpace page and you can plainly see that he is “Christian–other.”

I take that to mean that he shows up to some kind of church every now and then, but that the “other” refers to those Sundays when he’s worshiping at The Altar of Previous Game Film Footage.… Read the rest

Joe the Tide Fan

p1_tidetattoo.jpgBy a wide margin, Crimson Tide fans outnumber Auburn fans among my patients. For the most part, they’re not white collar professionals and technical people (i.e., engineers, computer programmers, etc), but instead down-home, salt-of-the-earth farmers and laborers who may not be able to tell you a lot about current affairs or the latest bestseller, but who can recall with great pride and fondness their favorite Bear Bryant story or the precise details of that stunning, last-second win back in 19-whatever.

Many of them are as big as 365 lb (and some change) Bama noseguard Terrence Cody, but not nearly as nimble or quick.… Read the rest

It’s A Dog’s Life, But It’s Not So Bad When You’re 8-0

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The legions of crimson-clad Bama fans who invaded Knoxville’s Neyland Stadium, turning it into Tuscaloosa-Northeast, weren’t the only ones psyched up about the Tide’s workmanlike 29-9 dismantling of what’s left of the Tennessee Volunteers Saturday night.

As you can see, despite the threat of NCAA sanctions for “extra benefits,” Amazing Gracie the Wonderdog fired up her traditional victory stogie nonetheless.

Come to think of it, Gracie’s life revolves around a full menu of “extra benefits:”

  • The traditional victory cigar, of course, along with the lovely houndstooth collar.
  • An always-full water bowl and endless supply of dog food and glucosamine-fortified treats (she has a touch of arthritis in her hips, poor baby).
… Read the rest